


This is the Future

by ImperiumWife



Category: How I Met Your Mother
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-02
Updated: 2014-08-28
Packaged: 2018-01-03 06:54:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 46,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1067397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImperiumWife/pseuds/ImperiumWife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if someone had told Robin in 2008 that in 2015 she would be married to Barney and be a mom? How would she react?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Groggy

Robin can't sleep. It is 2:30 in the morning, and she has been woken up again by a dream. Just about every dream she has lately includes Barney, and most of the time the dreams are of a sexual nature. It is really getting hard to ignore. Every time, he rocks her world. She wonders what it would be like to be with him, because to say that she hasn't been attracted to him from the get go would be an utter and complete lie. Lately, it seems that things just keep happening to put him on her radar. Like the other day, for instance, when he whispered that story to her when they were trying to catch his stalker. She almost considered asking him back to her place that night, as many times before, but she knew that she had to control herself. She knows that no good can come from her hooking up with Barney Stinson, ladies' man extraordinaire, no matter how amazing it might end up being. The payoff just isn't great enough to risk the consequences.

Unfortunately, it's now the third time tonight she has woken up to him having been a part of her dream. It's left her hot and bothered, yet again. She wills herself to go back to sleep, knowing that tomorrow is going to be a particularly long day, hoping that she can just sleep peacefully and have a dream that for once, is not about the two of them hooking up.

She drifts back to sleep, but a few minutes later, she wakes up again, feeling like she had just barely been asleep. There is something different about this time, and she can't quite put her finger on what it is. She starts to feel a throbbing headache, which she is certain wasn't there before. The baby crying just makes it worse. She starts to think about it. A baby crying? Why would there be a baby crying in her apartment? She can't quite place what is going on. She hadn't had any pregnant neighbors, did she? Did she leave the TV on and there was a baby crying on there? She groggily hears groaning coming from the other side of the bed. Now she is extremely confused, because hearing someone groaning would mean someone is in bed with her. She swears that she was alone the last time she fell asleep, but she finds herself completely unsure. No, she's sure of it. She had been dreaming about Barney. She had been alone. The unexplained baby keeps crying, and the person whom she is now sure is there beside her, gets out of bed, and leaves the room. The baby quiets shortly thereafter. She has no idea why this other person is here in bed with her. None of it makes any sense.

She is half tempted to go back to sleep, because she hadn't gotten to a dream yet and as much as she doesn't want to have them, the dreams are so good, and it's certainly better than whatever this is. She wants to be back on the receiving end of Barney, because it is the only place that she can allow herself to have him. But there is a larger part of her needs to know what exactly is going on in whatever crazy reality she seems to have woken up in.

She lifts her heavy eyelids and looks around, and instantly, she is startled awake. She is not at home, not even close. Actually, it almost looks like Barney's apartment, Barney's bedroom, which makes absolutely no sense. Why would she be in Barney's apartment? She starts to panic. Maybe she slept with him. Oh God. She somehow got over here and actually slept with him. The last thing she needs right now is to mess up the group. Even though there is a part of her that really wants Barney in more than just her dreams, there is no way she can ever, ever, go down that road. It just has the potential to mess everything up. At that moment, she realizes that she is clothed, thank god, but it isn't what she was wearing earlier. In fact, as she looks around what she now knows with all certainty is Barney's bedroom, after all, she was just in there a few days ago looking at his scrapbook of women, and she notices some things that seem out of place.

The first thing she notices is that she has a pillow and there is one in the spot that he must have just vacated. In fact, there are actually four pillows on the bed. She knows that Barney only has one pillow on his bed, to scare away any girls from spending the night. The bedding is also completely different from what it was a few days ago. There is more than just the one blanket, and the whole bedding set looks a little more grown up, and a bit more feminine. There are also other tiny things different about the room than what she saw a few days ago. Things in different places, slightly different art on the walls, but one detail completely scares the crap out of her. Her Canadian flag mug is sitting on the table next to her. She is at a complete loss as to why that would be next to her in Barney's apartment. That mug never leaves her bedside, and hasn't left her apartment since she moved there in 2005.

Now she is completely awake, adrenaline pumping, completely unsure of what to do next. Part of her wants to scream and part of her wants to try to go back to sleep, to see if she can get out of this situation, but at this point, there is no way she is going to go back to sleep. The adrenaline is already coursing through her, and while it is helping tremendously with the killer headache, there is no way she is going to be able to calm herself down.

"Hey! You're awake!" Barney exclaims sweetly, but quietly as he enters the bedroom. "How you feeling? You gave us all quite a scare earlier."

"What?" Robin asks confused, hoping that maybe he can explain how she got here.

"You tripped and hit your head on the counter at Ted and Tracy's remember?" She has no idea what he could be talking about.

"Who's Tracy? And Ted lives with Marshall and Lily, Barney. You know that," she speaks with an edgy tone. She is really scared of what is going on right now. This has to be some sort of big practical joke.

"Robin? Are you sure you're ok?" he asks. He looks at her in a way that she has never seen before, except when he is trying to pick up a bimbo at the bar, but it is missing the sexual undertone. He looks like he is completely worried about her and nothing else in the world matters to him but her. It seems so strange to see that look come out of him. She didn't know he was capable of that look.

"I am fine Barney. You seem to be the crazy one right now. I mean, why didn't you take me back to my apartment? Why bring me here? Why put me in your bed?" she berates. She just wants answers at this point. None of this is making any sense, and frankly it is making her head hurt worse.

"Robin." Barney says firmly as he grabs her hands. She stares down at the gesture in shock. "Look at me." She looks up at him. "Robin," he says trying to stay as calm as possible, "you live here."

"WHAT? NO!" she screams before she can even think. "NO!" The baby starts screaming again from the next room. "No." She can't possibly live here. "No, no." No, that's impossible. "No, no." she says, slowly getting quieter. "No." This must be some sort of horrible dream. "No." She can't, and why is she hearing a baby?

"Damn it, I just got her back to sleep," Barney mutters under his breath.

"No."

"Take a few deep breaths and I'll be right back," He tells her before walking out of the room.

"No."


	2. What Year is It?

 

As soon as he gets out of the room, Barney calls Ted.

"Barney? What's wrong? Is Robin ok?" Ted panics upon receiving the phone call.

"I don't think so. She just woke up, and she asked me why I didn't take her back to her apartment." Barney rushes with a panicked voice. "When I told her she lived here, she freaked out. I don't know what's going on, but I think she lost some of her memory."

"Get her to the ER. She must have some sort of concussion. I'll meet you there and take Brianna to Marshall and Lily's so she doesn't have to be in the hospital. Tracy can stay home with Leia for a while."

"I'm really nervous Ted."

"It's all going to be ok, just stay calm."

He hangs up the phone and calms down the baby. He starts getting her dressed and puts her in the car seat on the floor of the nursery, because he has a feeling that seeing her would not be good for Robin right now. He walks back to the bedroom to get Robin ready too.

"Barney? What did you do with my clothes? I am ready to go back home now," she implies impatiently.

"Robin, I'm taking you to the ER, ok?" he says with a serious voice, one that makes her feel even worse. It's like she is in some weird other universe where Barney has become Ted.

"I am fine, Barney. And when did you become so concerned about me?" she retorts, still not understanding.

"Robin, please just trust me on this. I need you to trust me on this," he insists, trying to stay calm.

"No."

"Yes."

"No. Why should I trust you, Barney? You've haven't ever given me a reason to trust you. What if this is just one of your schemes?" He has to admit that comment hurts. He's changed. He's not that person anymore, but for some reason, she doesn't remember.

"We're going and that's final," he demands. He just wants his wife back.

"You can't tell me what to do Barney," Robin snarks. She doesn't get why he is being so demanding. What should he care?

"Ok fine. Can you at least tell me this? What is the last thing you remember?" There is something in his voice this time that she wants to take seriously, so she gives in.

"I remember having some really strange dreams in my apartment and trying to fall asleep." She decides to leave out the part that they were about him. He really doesn't need that to stoke his ego, especially right now. She needs to focus on getting out of this mess. "The next thing I knew, I woke up here."

"I see. What apartment did you fall asleep in?"

"My apartment, duh," she states as if it is the most obvious thing in the world. She only has one apartment.

"The Brooklyn apartment?" he asks.

"Yes, Barney, I haven't lived anywhere else." She doesn't get where this is coming from.

He is completely terrified to ask anymore more questions, but frankly he needs to know. As of right now, it seems that she has completely forgotten all of their relationship.

"What year is it?" he asks tentatively.

"That seems like a stupid question to ask," Robin retorts.

"Answer me, please." The look he gives her scares the crap out of her. It's a scared pleading, and her stupid hormones that want him are finding it endearing. She really doesn't want to answer, but she can't help it, she can't control it.

"2008."

"Good," he says, to not scare her. So she has forgotten the last seven years. She has forgotten most of their entire relationship. He is thanking god right now that she hasn't noticed her wedding rings yet.

"Before or after Ted's birthday?" He needs to know what from 2008 she remembers.

"What?" She wonders what kind of question that is, and what this conversation about year has to do with anything.

"How many days is it until Ted's birthday? I need get him a gift. Do you know how many days I still have to shop?" he fakes, taping on the lying to bimbos resources that he hasn't used in what seems like forever.

"It's still a month away. Geeze, relax Barney." All this questioning is freaking her out. "This is really freaking me out. Can you stop asking me questions?"

"Only if you go with me to the emergency room," he banters, hoping it will work.

"No," she insists. There is no way she is going anywhere with him right now.

"Well then," he winks, knowing a way he can get her to do what he needs her to do. "I guess I will just have to show everyone the Sandcastles in the Sand music video then." Her eyes widen. There is no way he could have possibly found that. No way.

"HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?" she screams. He can tell by her reaction that she will play right into his hands. He knows her a lot better than this version of her thinks he does. He can use that to his complete advantage. Yes, he knows it's evil, but it's for her own good.

"Doesn't matter how I know. If you don't come with me, everyone gets to see that tape. If you do, it will stay just our little secret."

"Fine." She can't believe that she is letting him blackmail her into this.

"Now what do you want to wear? Jeans, sweats?" he asks.

"Something comfy?" She has no idea how he is going to come up with clothes for her. It doesn't make sense.

"Ok, coming right up." He goes to the dresser and pulls out what he knows are her favorite yoga pants and t-shirt and brings them to her.

"These are so cute Barney." She actually could see herself owning something like this. "Oh god, do these belong to one of your skanks?" she wonders aloud, because where else could they have come from?

"No. I promise." He can't tell her that they are actually hers. He doesn't think she would believe him anyway, he thinks as he is standing in the room waiting for her to change, just as he always does. It's a regular occurrence for them to be in the same room while the other is changing, and most of the time, it isn't even a sexual thing.

"Well?" She can't believe that now of all times she has to ask him to leave. Does he really think that he is going to get a free peep show out of her?

"Well what?"

"Do I have to spell out everything? I know you want to watch me change, but it ain't happening mister." He completely forgot. Of course he would need to leave. This Robin has no idea that he can't take his eyes off of her and her alone, that he's seen her naked more time than he can even count, and still keeps coming back. She still thinks he is some sort of womanizing idiot that she met years ago.

"Sorry. I forgot." Sure he forgot, she thinks and rolls her eyes. "I'll be out in the living room when you are ready."

He heads down the hall, stopping in the nursery to check on Bri. She is sound asleep in the car seat. He quietly moves around the room to grab a few more things for the diaper bag, as it occurs to him that she has no idea that Brianna exists. Not only does she not know that they are married, she doesn't even know she has a daughter. He can't help but feel heartbroken. He knows how much she loves her, but right now, she has no idea that she exists, or well to her, will exist. He needs to try and treat her as much of 2008 Robin as he can, which means he needs to figure out an excuse as to her existence. Since she hasn't asked about it yet, he figures that she probably thought it was a neighbor's baby. Maybe he can get away with saying it's Eli. That wouldn't exactly work out, but would she really know the difference? 2008 Robin wouldn't know Eli's age, or know his family enough to even know about him. Nor would 2008 Robin know enough about babies to know that Bri isn't a 6 month old boy. 2008 Robin wants nothing to do with kids. All he has to do is get her out of the apartment fast enough to not see any wedding or baby pictures lying around.

He picks up the diaper bag and the car seat, and heads out into the hall, closing the door behind him. The last thing he needs is her seeing that the suit room is actually a nursery. He wants her as calm as possible all the way to the hospital. Thankfully, he sees that she hasn't come out yet, and he leans against the wall at the entrance to the living room. She opens the door.

"Hey," he says calmly, waiting for her reaction to the baby.

"Umm?" she questions, wondering what exactly he is doing with a baby.

"Oh," he murmurs, trying to feign his innocence, that he had no idea that she didn't know about the baby. "This is Eli. I'm babysitting. Remember him?"

"Oh yeah, your nephew."

"Do you want to see him?" She wonders what kind of a question that is. He knows that she hates babies.

"No, that's quite alright."

"Ok then, let's go shall we?"

"Fine. Let's go."

He guides her to the door, and manages to get her out the door without her seeing anything incriminating. All he can think is that it's going to be a long night.


	3. A Baby?

When they get to the hospital, Ted is already there. He takes Bri away from Barney, and Barney passes him a worried look. He gives him some instructions for her, and then he notices that Robin is gone.

They find her at the check-in counter. They realize that they can't have her check herself in, because she has no idea that her name isn't the same, or even why she is here. Barney and Ted run over to her.

"Robin? Why don't we go sit down?" Ted asks her. "Barney can give them your information," he says, nodding to Barney.

"Ok," she replies skeptically. Barney knows he shouldn't be jealous, because 2008 Robin would be more comfortable with Ted, but it still stings every time that she chooses Ted over him. At least now he knows that Ted is nothing to worry about, because he has his own happy family.

He explains the whole situation to the nurse at the desk, that his wife fell and hit her head earlier tonight, and she seemed fine at the time, went to bed, and woke up in the middle of the night with no memory of the last 7 years of her life. He told her that her life is dramatically different now, and she is panicking over what her life is right now, because seven years ago, she never wanted those things. He told her that he wants the doctors to use her maiden name for a while, until she has some time to adjust to this. The nurse gives him some forms to fill out, and he barely gets back to Robin and Ted before they call her back to a room. He's surprised, yet worried, because one never gets called back that fast unless it's bad. Really bad.

When they get back to the room, they leave Robin by herself, and talk outside the door.

"So?" Ted queries, wanting to hear the whole story.

"She's in 2008, Ted," Barney laments.

"2008?"

"2008. She knows nothing about our relationship." Ted can see him start to tear up. He couldn't imagine if he woke up one day and Tracy didn't remember him.

"She says the last thing she remembers was trying to go to sleep, and she woke up here. I don't know what to do. I even told her Bri was Eli. God forbid if she finds the wedding rings, Ted!" he exclaims. "What am I going to do?"

"I don't know, but I do know you need to stay strong and calm." He pauses, not sure what else to say. "How did you even get her to come over here?" Ted asks.

"I blackmailed her."

"What?" Ted questions skeptically.

"Well, I didn't technically. She's voluntarily told me everything that I used. But she doesn't remember that she told me."

"Hmm," Ted ponders. "Evil, but completely you."

"Yep."

"Ok, I am going to get Brianna over to Marshall and Lily," Ted explains. "Once I do, Lily and I are going to come back. I think that Robin probably would want to see us right now over you, no offence."

"I know," he sigh. "She doesn't know. I'm going to go back in and fill out the paperwork. Thanks, Ted."

"Of course. I'd do just about anything for you. I'll be back soon."

Barney walks back into the room, and sits with Robin. He asks her questions about the forms, even though he already knows all of the answers. He knows that if he would just fill out the forms, it would make her incredibly nervous. He can't help but worry about Brianna either. He realizes that it's the first time that they have been alone without her since she was born. But he knows that Robin isn't worrying about her, which is actually somewhat calming, and she is in good hands with her Uncle Ted and Uncle Marshall. They are halfway through her medical history when she finally notices.

"Barney?"

"Yeah?"

"Why do I have rings on THAT finger?" she starts to panic. He tries to play it off as nothing.

"What?"

"These Barney," she exclaims getting slightly more agitated as she holds up her left hand towards him.

"Robin, you need to calm down."

"No Barney, YOU need to calm down," she starts to shout.

"ROBIN!" he shouts right back at her. He really has no idea what to say. He knew he could get through everything else, but he knew he would have no idea how to explain those away. She continues to look at him, her eyes like questioning daggers.

"I will tell you everything, but you need to stay calm for me, ok?"

"What do you mean?" she questions.

"Just no outbursts," he demands. "We are in a hospital, and if you freak out, you are just going to end up in the psych ward, and that is the last thing you need right now."

"Ok..." she trails off, waiting for whatever big reveal he is going to share.

"No outbursts?" he asks, making sure she gets that.

"No."

"What year is it?"

"I told you earlier, it's 2008," she snaps.

"Actually it's not," he reveals.

"Huh?" She snaps her head over to stare at him intently.

"It's 2015". What can he possibly mean its 2015?

"What? No Barney, It's 2008," she corrects.

"Robin, it's 2015. You fell last night at Ted's house, and hit your head on the kitchen counter. You seemed fine when you went to sleep, but you woke up in the middle of the night with no recollection of the last seven years."

The whole thing just seems crazy. They have to be playing a joke on her. There is no way it is just seven years in the future in just one night.

"It's 2015?" she questions.

"Yes." She's really having a hard time believing what he is saying. The whole thing seems off.

"If it's really 2015, then why am I here?"

"I brought you here because you don't remember," he explains sweetly. He has tthe overwhelming urge to touch her in comfort, but decides that it might not be a great idea.

"I don't remember anything?" she asks weakly.

"I don't think so."

"Well, my life can't be that different." Then it hits her. "Wait. Oh my god! Am I married? Is that what the rings are?" She asks, demanding answers.

"Robin. You need to stay calm remember?" he tries.

"But I was never going to get married!"

"Hello Mrs. Stinson," the technician announces when she enters the room. Robin turns to stare at Barney in horror. It hurts him so much to see her realize it. He has to remember that the Robin that married him is happily in love with him and loves their happy family. She eagerly said yes to him on that rooftop. He has to remember that this Robin doesn't know the in between. She comes from a time that he would have freaked out as well about being married and having a child. He smiles to her the best he can to comfort her.

"We need you to take off any jewelry you have on."

"It's just the rings. You don't have the necklace on right now," Barney tells her.

She is still in shock. She has so many questions. She is married to Barney? That is probably the most ridiculous thing she has ever heard. This has to be some sort of sick practical joke.

She doesn't even say goodbye when she is wheeled out of the room. They must be playing a joke on her. Ted must even be in on it. She has to admit, they sure went to a lot of work to do this. She wonders if all of the hospital employees are in on it too. That is, until they hand her what appears to be a gigantic iPhone, and ask her to sign a release form on it. She asks the nurse what it is.

"It's an iPad dearie."

"An iPad?" She is so confused. There isn't anything called an iPad that she knows of, although she is going to have to congratulate Barney on the oh-so-but-not-really clever naming. How original is iPad?

"Yes. It's an 8th generation. We started using all electronic forms back here a year ago."

"When?"

"2014."

She thinks Ted and Barney are either really good, or this is really happening. She can't really decide on which one though. The nurse rolls her back and gets her set up.

The whole MRI takes an hour, and she wonders the entire time if what Barney is saying could really be true, and if that is the case, what does the rest of her life look like? How the hell did Barney of all people convince her to get married? She does find him extremely attractive, but she knows he would never be the kind of person to settle down. Then again, neither is she. She wonders what the rest of the gang's lives are like. Maybe she's even held a baby by this point. If she could get married to Barney, maybe she even has nieces and nephews that she adores.

When the nurse comes back in at the end of the test, she says something that completely terrifies her to her core, even more than the thought of being married to Barney.

"You're done sweetie," the nurse comforts. "Congrats on the little one by the way."

"Little one?"

"Yes. The baby. I saw in your chart that you were here in February. Congrats."

She says thank you, smiles and nods, but in reality she wants to run away screaming.

The entire way back to her room her brain is on overdrive. Little one. Like a baby? Really? She can't be serious. There is no way that she has a child. Never. Not in a million years could she have decided to have a child. But, oh god, Barney had a baby. Ted took the baby. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, this can't be happening. No, no, no, no, there can't be a baby. No. No. But if it really is 2015, that would make Eli seven or eight years old. So maybe this is just a joke after all. Maybe, just maybe.


	4. Pictures

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year to everyone!

 

When she finally makes it back to the room, she finds Lily and Ted there with Barney. She starts to notice the details. Like the fact that they all look slightly older. Barney has some wrinkles and grey hairs and so does Ted. Lily's hair is red again, but slightly longer than she remembers, and if she's not wrong, it even looks like Lily is might be pregnant. Ted and Barney are both wearing wedding rings, and Barney looks like he is the one that isn't holding it together. They all smile at her when she is wheeled in the room, but she is so out of it that she doesn't even notice. She figures that Lily would never be in on a prank so she asks to speak to her alone.

"Lily?" she asks after the men leave the room. "Is this a practical joke?"

"No, Robin, it's not," Lily answers sweetly. "I'm sorry sweetie. Barney filled us in on what happened."

"Ok, so tell me something that would make me believe it."

"What?"

"Tell me something that would make me believe that it is really 2015," Robin insists.

"Um, here." She takes out her iPhone and opens to a picture of Robin about seven months pregnant holding a two-year-old Marvin. "That's you and Marvin on New Year's Eve last year." She realizes that not only is she pregnant in the picture, she is in Barney's bedroom again. "He's almost three now, and he loves his aunt Robin so much."

"Am I... am I?"

"Yes, you are pregnant in the picture. I don't want to tell you too much about that though," Lily answers. Lily sees the terrified look on her face, and knows that she is incredibly freaked out by all of this. 2008 Robin would have been terrified. "I think that is something you want to talk to Barney about."

Robin pauses to take in the information before asking, "I'm really married to Barney?"

"Yes, you are honey."

"How'd that happen exactly?" Robin questions.

"It's too long of a story to get into tonight, but I  _promise_  you, you were a 110 percent on board," Lily insists.

"You're telling me that I voluntarily got married and became a mom?" Robin questions skeptically.

"Well," Lily pauses to think, "Yes to the married and no to the mom, but you wanted both. And I will tell you that you are extremely happy."

"Really?" She raises her eyebrows. "I just can't see it at all."

"I know, it is a pretty unbelievable story, but I think that maybe Barney should fill you in on the details of all of that tomorrow." she says, before adding gleefully, "But hey, if you want to see Ted go crazy, so you don't feel like the only one, ask him about Leia when he comes back in."

"Okay?" She wonders if Leia is the one, because she can't really remember what name Barney said earlier. "I guess you can have them come back in." Lily exits quickly to usher the men back in.

Robin realizes that it is going to take her some time to adjust to this new reality, and frankly, it is going to be really weird for a while. Being married to Barney, definitely weird. Having a child, even more weird. Having that child be half her and half Barney, insanely weird.

When they come back in the door, Robin smiles at Barney, because she figures she at least owes him that, after all, they are apparently married, and then she asks Ted, "So, Ted, I am supposed to ask you about a Leia?"

Ted starts to get that look in his eyes, like the one he gets when he is just about to start spouting about architecture. He drags out his phone and starts showing Robin pictures of his baby girl, talking about all of the things she can do, and how she started to giggle the other day. She can't help but laugh, because after all of these supposed years, Ted really still is the dorky dad. She always knew he would be the perfect parent. It makes her wonder who the lucky "one" is, and how long it ended up taking him to find her.

Ted is still showing her pictures when the doctor comes in.

"The results of the MRI look clear, but we would still like to send you for a CAT scan," the doctor informs them, "and keep you for at least 12 hours to make sure that there are no other significant problems."

"So there is nothing serious?" Barney asks.

"I am going to assume that it is just a Traumatic Brain Injury, or TBI until we have any other reason to suspect otherwise."

"And the memory loss, will it be permanent?" Barney questions.

"There is no way to tell. It could last for a day, a few weeks or forever. There is really no way to know for sure. Anything that you can do to help her remember can only help. Now if you will excuse me," the doctor adds before exiting the room.

"Guys?" Robin asks. "Can I talk to Barney alone for a few minutes?"

"Sure, we'll be out in the hall," Ted answers as he and Lily turn towards the door and head outside.

"I want to see pictures," Robin demands.

"Pictures of what?"

"Of the baby. I want to see pictures." He looks at her stunned. He wasn't quite ready for her to figure that out yet.

"How did you-?"

"A nurse back at the MRI told me, and I asked Lily about everything and she showed me a picture of Marvin and I while I was pregnant."

"Oh." He pauses. He doesn't know what to do next. She continues to look at him expectantly.

"Barney, I really want to see. I need to know things right now. Just start telling me things. It's yours right?"

"Yes," he confirms.

"Did we get married because I was pregnant?" she demands.

"Hell no! Are you kidding me?" He chuckles at the thought. Even in their pregnancy scare, she didn't want to do anything. "That's not us. We were married a year when you got pregnant."

''Oh," she murmurs. "What's her name?"

"Her name is Brianna," he says with a smile. "She's ten weeks old, and she looks just like you."

"Really?" she asks, and she actually feels herself getting more emotional than she ever thought she would about a baby.

"Really," he confirms. "Actually, it's a funny story. She was born the same day as Leia."

"No way," Robin chuckles. Her becoming a parent the same day as Ted. You almost can't make that up.

"Yeah," he joins in the laughter, because looking back on it now, it is quite humorous. "It was quite a surprise. You and Tracy spent quite a bit of time together, and were about a month apart on your due dates, but she was early and you were late, which was actually incredible, considering how many problems you had throughout, but I won't get into that."

"Wow." she utters, still completely stunned. "So do you have a picture or not?" He gets the hint, takes out his phone, finds the pictures, and hands the phone to her. She looks at her and immediately starts crying. She really does look like her, but she looks a lot like Barney too. She's got Barney's bright blue eyes. She has no idea how they got here, to having a baby together, but she somehow feels that love that she always thought was hocus, the protective love of a mother.

Barney pulls her in for a hug. "It's all going to be ok. I promise we will go see her as soon as we can," he whispers into her hair continuing the embrace.

"I think I would like that. I'm not quite sure how to hold her though," she admits.

"It's ok, I'll show you." She nods her head. She appreciates the hug, and oddly, it does feel right. Sort of like she felt with Ted, but even more so. Everything feels like it is supposed to, even though she is getting hugged, which would normally scare the crap out of her. Maybe this is why 2015 Robin is married to him. But even so, it still doesn't make sense. There is still a part of it all that she can't wrap her head around.

"How did we get here?" she asks.

"We took a cab," Barney answers sarcastically.

"That seems a bit more like the Barney I'm used to, but you know that's not what I meant."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, what happened in seven years that we, two commitment-phobes, ended up married with a baby?"

"I honestly have no idea how it happened," he admits, because he really doesn't. He thanks his lucky stars every day that she agreed to marry him, and then thanks them again for the miracle that is their daughter. "But I can tell you the whole story from the beginning if you'd like."

"Like our choreographed meeting story that we make fun of Lily and Marshall for having?"

"Yeah, sort of, but ours is much more complicated. It all started one night at McLaren's. A beautiful girl walked into a bar, and sat with some friends from work that she didn't know very well. A man saw her across a crowded room, and vowed he was going to get that girl that night. But lo and behold, his idiotic best friend murmured the words 'the one' and 'marry', and he knew all bets were off. But every day, he thanks his lucky stars for Ted, because if Ted hadn't gone crazy over the girl, everything he loves would have walked out the door in the morning and he would have never seen her again."

"Wow," she mumbles almost convinced. "That was very cheesy," she jokes. "When did you become Ted?"

"Somewhere around the time I fell in love with you." The way he looks at her in that moment make her feel more exposed than she's ever felt.

"Oh geeze," she rolls her eyes, trying to get away from the cheesy route the conversation is taking. "When did I finally give into your begging about sex, or was it more complicated than that?"

"About a month from what you remember, right before Ted's 30th birthday. We only spent one night together, and we then decided it was a bad idea for many reasons," he explains, deciding to leave out the part about Ted defriending him, and getting hit by a bus as a result. "Then the next year, we dated for about 6 months, but it didn't work out. But we always had this back and forth that no matter who we dated, we still kept thinking about each other and running circles around each other. Then I asked you out of the blue to marry me, and you said yes. I asked you around Christmastime, and we got married in May. We've been married almost two years now."

"Huh," she sighs. "That's a lot to absorb." She is suddenly starting to feel extremely tired again. It's all still too much. Maybe she can go back to sleep and wake back up in the real world.

"Actually, you should probably rest now," he suggests. He can see how tired she is, and how much this has overwhelmed her. He can't imagine what it must be like for her to process all of this in one night. He can't imagine being in her shoes, because there are some days he still can't believe how lucky he is. "We can talk about more in the morning. I will be right here for the night, and Ted and Lily will be right outside ok? I am going to go fill them in ok?"

"Yeah. You can send them home though."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I can hold my own with you." He smiles. It's progress.


	5. Becoming a Mom

 

She didn't realize how tired she was, and she was already asleep by the time Barney got back into the room. She woke up on her way to the CAT scan, and then realized that this had to be for real. It freaked her out tremendously, but she had to stay calm. She kept dozing in and out for the test, and on her way back to the room. It wasn't until she the doctor came in in the morning that she finally was fully awake.

"We saw nothing wrong with the CAT scan, either, and unfortunately, there is nothing we can do for you, so we are going to release you. The nurse should be around shortly with the paperwork. Just call us with any worsening memory, or any other signs of concussion," the doctor says to both of them, before turning to address Barney. "The best thing you can do at this point is spend some time remembering things with her."

"Ok. Thanks," Barney says as the doctor leaves. "So, are you ready to go home and see her?" he asks Robin.

"Actually, yes. I oddly am."

* * *

In the back of the cab on the way to Lily and Marshall's, Robin can't help but stare at her rings, now that they shine with the glorious brilliance of daylight.

"What are you thinking about?" Barney asks.

"I don't know... still trying to get used to all of this I guess," she sighs. "The ring is beautiful by the way."

"I haven't seen you stare at it that way since right after we got engaged," he says sweetly. She chuckles, laughing at the irony. She still can't seem him proposing, let alone risking the danger of ruining a suit by getting down on one knee. "You were pretty amazed by it then too."

"I hope you didn't spend too much on it," she mentions.

"I didn't. It's a family heirloom."

"What?" she asks, shocked. "Your mom had this ring?"

"No," he announces. "It's from my dad's family."

"You expect me to believe that?" she asks incredulously.

"Robin," he sighs, trying to make her remember that things are different.

"Wait," she pauses. "You really know who your dad is?" she asks, still skeptical. She still can't believe that things are so radically different. No matter how many times they all tell her otherwise.

"Yes," he states. "And he is part of the reason we are together. Turns out he was around for my early childhood, but then my mom sent him away because she didn't think that he was a good influence," he sighs. "He's married and has two other kids, which sometimes really hurts."

"Because he was there for those other kids?" she asks. It almost as if she knows him that well. She doesn't even notice the question coming out of her mouth when she asks it.

"Yeah. Lame suburban dad," he says snarikly but still calm. He adds honestly, "I am glad to know him, and I know he tries to make it up to me."

She smirks at him, amazed with the ease that he shared that personal detail with her. It is unexpected coming from Barney.

"We're here," he announces. She looks out the window, and she's not where she expected to be. She expected to be in Dowisewtrepla. This is the Upper West Side.

"But this is..." she mutters, trying to form a thought. "I thought Ted was keeping the apartment. I thought Lily and Marshall bought a place."

"They did. They sold it a few years back." He knows she confused, and it really is a lot to explain to her right now. She doesn't even know that she lived here at any point. All he really wants to do right now is pick up Brianna and get home to bed. "I don't really want to get into that right now. I want to get back home and go to sleep."

* * *

"Hey," Marshall whispers after he opens the door to Barney's quiet knock. "Everyone else is still asleep."

"How is she?" Barney asks quietly, as he and Robin enter the apartment, closing the door behind them. It takes Robin a bit to adjust to the changes around the room. It's very much the same apartment, but very different at the same time.

"Just fine," Marshall answers. "She slept the entire time since Ted brought her here."

"Good," Barney murmurs, walking over to the portable pack and play crib to check on Brianna. Robin isn't quite sure what to do, so she hovers by the door.

"By the way, you need to let us in on your secret," Marshall mentions casually. "Marvin didn't sleep that long until about six months."

"It's no secret Marshall," Barney brags, while smiling down at his daughter. "She's at least two hundred percent awesome, if not more. What kind of odds were you expecting with Robin and I?"

Marshall chuckles and shakes his head, apparently expecting that behavior.

She hadn't been expecting that. That phrase was completely Barney, yet not. Apparently there is some of the Barney in there that she knows and loves. Wait loves? The concussion just has to be messing with her head.

Barney picks Brianna up out of the pack and play, and takes her over to where Robin is standing.

"This is Brianna." Robin stares at her, a mixture of love and fear filling her face. She's not what Robin expected her to be at all. Dark wisps of hair cover her head, and her bright eyes look at her in a way she never expected, in a way of recognition. She realizes it's perfectly reasonable for her daughter to know who she is, but it's still going to take some getting used to. She doesn't know what to think about her. She knows one thing. She's the most beautiful baby she's ever seen. "Do you want to hold her?" Barney asks.

She does, she thinks anyway, but she's scared and she doesn't know what to do, so she would rather do this alone, and not in front of Marshall. The timing just doesn't seem right to her. Fortunately, Barney seems to sense this and moves closer to her.

"You can wait until we get home if you want," he whispers in her ear.

She manages to nod her head and breathe a sigh of relief. It's a lot to try and adjust to having a baby when her whole life she's been scared of them.

"Thanks Marshall," Barney says, turning to away from Robin and walking to get Brianna's diaper bag.

"Sure. No problem," Marshall responds. "It's not like we don't have to get used to that again," he says, smirking.

"Glad we could give you some practice," Barney winks as he guides Robin and carries Brianna and the car seat out the door.

* * *

When they get back to the apartment, Robin has finally worked up the courage to hold her. It took the whole cab ride to talk herself into it. Although, watching her sleep peacefully certainly helped,

"I think I'm ready," Robin announces as she enters the apartment. It's amazing now, to be back in his apartment. She notices things she hadn't seen when he rushed her out to the hospital. Pictures of the two of them were located in various places. Pictures of Brianna too. But the one next to her is astounding. A picture of the two of them on their wedding day. The dress is even more amazing than anything she could imagine, and the way he's looking at her, well it's just so un-Barney. Much like he's been the whole time she's been here. It's them in their own little world.

"To hold her?" Barney questions.

"Yeah," she murmurs nervously.

"So you want to sit?"

"Yeah."

She moves to and sits down on the couch, waiting for Barney to bring the baby to her. She watches him the whole time. There's something amazing in the way he picks her up out of her car seat, the way he holds her, the way he talks to her, as if it's second nature to him. She never thought of him as kids person. Ted, Marshall and Lily, absolutely, but not her, not Barney.

He sits down next to her with the baby on his shoulder.

"Do you want to take her, or do you want me to give her to you?" He asks gently, knowing full well that as much as she wants to hold her, she's got to be scared half to death. He'd do anything to make this easier on her, or even to just get her damn memory back. At least it feels like he's making some progress.

"Give her to me please," she asks.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes," she says, but he can sense the hesitation in her voice.

"You don't look ready," he accuses, before realizing, "You don't know where to put your arms do you?" How could he forget that she's a complete newbie with babies. She should still have the muscle memory, but she will have no idea how to make her brain do it.

"Not a clue."

"Here." Barney balances the baby against his shoulder in one hand and bends Robin's arms into the right shape. "Her head is going to rest on your elbow, and you are going to put your hand under her butt."

"But what if I drop her? And what if my arm touches one of the soft spots on her head?" she panics.

"I'm going to be here the entire time," he soothes. "You can't hurt her."

"Positive?"

"Positive."

Barney moves Brianna away from his shoulder and places her in Robin's arms.

Robin stares at her in awe for a couple of seconds, until she starts to open her eyes.

"She's looking at me," she mutters, completely stunned that not only is she holding a baby, she's holding her baby.

"She does that," he explains. "She knows you already. She recognizes you."

"Now she's smiling," she exclaims gleefully. It's weird because this isn't as scary as she thought this was going to be. In fact, it's exhilarating. It's a feeling like she's never had before. She finds that she doesn't even want to put her down. Her daughter is by far the most beautiful most beautiful thing she's ever laid her eyes on. Even though the thought of having a child with Barney is still too much to comprehend, she can't help but admit that their features mix perfectly on her. She's obviously got her hair, and she's got her mouth and nose too, but everything about her eyes is inexplicably Barney. The shape, even the color is so close to Barney's.

Brianna starts to stir in her arms. It makes her panic a bit, since she has no idea what to do with her now that her little arms and legs are flailing. It's such a sudden change that Robin is a little bit worried about what's going on.

"Seems like she's hungry," Barney says quietly. "It is pretty close to her normal feeding time."

"Do you need to take her and feed her?" Robin asks. "I don't know what to do."

"Sorry, I can't help you with that one," he chuckles. He stares at her, waiting for the logic to catch up.

"Seriously?!" she exclaims when she gets what he's implying. He can't be serious. "You've got to be kidding! I'm supposed to feed her? As in breast feed?"

"Yes," he says in a voice that she would describe as not at all Barney. It calm and sweet, but not at all demanding as he normally would be when he wants to say he's right. She knows that can only mean he's serious.

"What if I don't want to?" she asks. It's childish, but she's not sure she can wrap her head around something sucking on her nipples like that, outside of sex that is.

"You kinda don't have any other choice," he informs her. "We don't have any formula, and..."

"But it's weird and it's going to hurt!" she exclaims, interrupting him.

"It's not weird," he explains. "And it should make your boobs hurt less at this point."

It's a bit bizarre to her that he might know that. She had noticed some pain when she woke up, but she didn't realize that it could be from that. In fact, she never would have guessed that it could be from that.

"How did you even know they hurt?" she questions.

"Because you haven't fed her or pumped for 12 hours now," he shrugs. "I just assumed."

It's a lot to assume, but then again, he has been living with her as a mom for a while now. She's got a decision to make at this point though. Is she going to do this or not?

"Ok, say I was going to do this, how do I even do it?" There is absolutely no way she is going to do this without being educated.

"I'll go get you the pillow for her, but basically, you hold her in place and you put her mouth there and she will do the rest," he explains. "I'll be right back," he announces before bouncing up out of the seat beside her and running back the hall. She guesses that she's doing this now. It doesn't seem like she has that much of a choice anyway. He reappears quickly holding a weird crescent shaped pillow.

"Now the first thing you have to do is take off your shirt," he informs her.

She wrinkles her nose. "Really?" He's got to be kidding with this. It just keeps getting worse and worse. Now she has to show him her boobs. Great. Just great.

"Robin, I've watched you do this multiple times a day, every day, since we brought her home from the hospital, and even at the hospital," he tells her, stating to get a bit irritated. "And I've seen them plenty of times before that. Frankly, the freckle below your left nipple is really kinda hot," he says, starting to daydream. The thought of it creeps her out. She knows there is a freckle there, but the fact that he finds it hot? "But the point is," he shakes out of it, "I know you are uncomfortable with this, because you think I am just going to ogle over them, and they are ogle worthy, but they are the only ones I want to see anymore and-"

"Just shut up and keep explaining," she snaps, interrupting him from waxing any more poetic about her boobs. She really doesn't need to hear anymore. "I want to get this over with," she says while pulling up her t-shirt. "What's next?"

"Hold her up a little bit so I can put the pillow around your waist. That way you don't have to hold her the whole time," he explains sweetly. "Now you are going to take the hand that is not holding her and put it under her head like this," he explains while demonstrating. She's still a little bit uncomfortable with him being quite so close to her, but when she thinks about it, it's no different than when they lean on each other in the booth at the bar. They've been close before, but yet again, this just seems more intimate. "And let the rest of her weight rest on the pillow. Try it." She does as he says, and Brianna seems to be at the right spot. "Now pull your bra down and put her mouth there and she will do the rest. If she stops and turns her head, all you have to do is brush her cheek with your finger, and she should start back up again." She does just as Barney says, and Brianna grabs ahold exactly like he explained.

The whole experience doesn't hurt nearly as much as she thought it would, and it is actually easing the pain a bit. But in a way, it is still odd to watch and it feels just as odd.

"So how does it feel?" he asks, still sensing her hesitation.

"Weird, but it doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would."

"You're used to it," he tells her. The first few weeks were rough. "It hurt a lot in the beginning."

"Oh," she murmurs. She has no idea what to say. All she can do is watch in wonderment over what is happening in front of her right now. He doesn't know what to say either, but he knows how important this is for her to do to bond with Brianna. He's even slightly jealous sometimes that he doesn't get to share the same sort of close moment with Bri, even though he spends twice as much time with her.

"So," she mutters, interrupting the silence.

"So."

"What happens next?" she asks. She can sense that Brianna isn't quite done yet, but will be soon.

"I don't know," he responds. "We should probably get some sleep." It's actually all he wants to do right now. He did spend most of his night in the ER worried sick about his two girls.

"That would be good. I'm really tired," she sighs. "Is she going to be ok?"

"Yeah, she going to take another nap soon anyway," he says. She looks up at him with a smirk, almost as if she is laughing. "What?" he asks, curious as to what it could be about.

"It's just weird to see you like this. You're just being so-" she pauses, trying to search for the right word, "-caring."

"The two of you are my world," he says while stroking the baby's head. "I never thought that I would say something like that. If I were in your shoes, I probably would have run out the door and been halfway across the country or something by now," he jokes. "So thank you for at least trying here. I love the two of you so much." He leans over and gently kisses her forehead.

It's a strangely tender moment for Robin, but it actually feels quite nice. Though it's still a bit difficult to accept, she can feel Barney's love for her. It makes her wonder if he's been hiding those sweet, caring feelings deep down all this time, because he's scared, or if something really changed him. If she really changed him.

"Is she done?" Robin as she feels her daughter pull away from her.

"I think so," Barney answers. "I'll take her and put her down for her nap." He takes the baby out of her arms, and hoists her up so her head is resting on his shoulder. She doesn't know from where, but somewhere he found a cloth to lay underneath her and protect his suit.

While watching Barney burp Brianna is such a domestic scene, it doesn't seem as weird as it did earlier. The more she watches it, the more she realizes that it fits him. He looks completely at ease with a baby over his shoulder, and he's good at it too.

He walks Brianna back the hall, and she figures she might as well follow, because there is something telling her that she doesn't want to lose sight of her ever again. It's another frightening feeling, to not want to be separated from her child, but a good feeling as well, one that has the potential to bring something amazing to her life. She follows the two of them into the suit room, which, to her surprise is now the nursery. Then again, she's not surprised in the least, because it makes complete and logical sense. The room amazes her though. She can see the touches of both her and Barney in the decoration, but somehow, despite the boyish influences of hockey, Canada and Star Wars, on top of the grey walls, it is still entirely girly. She reasons that this too makes sense, because if this is her new reality, she would want to raise a girl who can be a girl, but can still be herself.

Robin watches Barney put Brianna in the crib and she can't help but admire them. It's so strange to be feeling what she feels right now. It's an overwhelming feeling of love. She loves them both so much. It should be freaking her out. She is feeling love for Barney and a baby. For Barney. It doesn't make sense, but she's happy. Really happy. So happy she can't help but break out into a smile.

After Barney places Bri in the crib, he turns back to her and notices the beautiful smirk on her face. "What's that smile for?"

"I don't know," she admits. "There is just something about this that makes me really happy."

"Maybe there is some memory in here after all," he says joyfully at her comment.

"Maybe," she chuckles.

"Are you ready for some sleep?" he asks.

"Yes," she answers, because even though she got some sleep at the hospital, she's still exhausted. He guides her back towards the bedroom and starts to excuse himself.

"You're leaving?" she asks, panicky.

"Yes, I thought you would find it weird if I stayed," he admits.

She realizes then just how much he really must care. He's really been nothing but a perfect gentleman to her since this whole thing started. He was going to leave just to spare her feelings.

"Actually, I want you to stay," she murmurs aloud. She's not sure she actually said it out loud until he responds.

"You sure about that?" he questions. She's not sure, but at the same time, there's this strange part of her that wants to be close to him.

"Yeah, I don't know," she sighs. "There's just something about you being here that makes me feel safe." She isn't lying when she says that. She doesn't understand the feeling at all, but she does know that there is no way she is letting him leave now. "I don't know what it is, but I want you lying here next to me."

"Ok," he utters, still standing tentatively in the doorway because he can sense that she's not done and he doesn't want to make her uncomfortable.

"I mean this is my reality now," she continues. "As bizarre as it seems, I am letting my gut take over here, and my gut is telling me that this is somehow strangely right." She let's go of all her better judgment to continue. "I feel something for you, and I want go see where this goes, for everyone's sake."

"I can do that," he replies, smiling at her and finally feeling comfortable enough to move in the bedroom. "Is there anything I shouldn't do?" he asks, before climbing into the bed.

"Just don't make a move on me," she requests, joining him. "I'm not quite sure I'm ready for that yet."

"Gotcha."

So they settle into bed together. It seems weird to share a bed with Barney at first, but as the minutes go on, she keeps inching closer and closer to him, as though some unknown force is pulling her there. Before she knows it, she is in his arms. And once again, it is oddly comforting. It doesn't take long before she is drifting off to the feeling of his breath rising and falling against her back.


	6. The Next Step

She wakes up hours later, oddly aroused, yet fully surrounded by a man's arms. She knows she's not a cuddle person, but it feels nice. It takes her awhile to regain consciousness, and realize that she is still in the same dream as before. The funny thing is that she didn't even think about returning to her reality when she fell asleep. She is actually quite content. And of course, during the time she was asleep, she had had another sex dream about Barney. Only this time, she is waking up next to him, and she's married to him. Maybe this will work out well, she thinks to herself. Maybe she can use this to her advantage. Yes, it's still weird to think about this alternate reality, but she wants him. If she's honest with herself, She's wanted him for a while, almost since the night they met. She can't have sex with him in her real life, but in whatever life she ended up in here, she figures it's expected, right? All the consequences to them sleeping together aren't present here. There are no bimbos to be jealous of, no judgement from the group, especially Ted, and it's not like it will get awkward later, because they are supposed to be doing this. Sex is something that married couples are supposed to do. So she's decided. She is going to have sex with Barney.

She dozes back off, imagining what it could be like with him, for so long that she realizes that he's no longer in bed with her. She takes the opportunity to get ready for this, Because even though he remembers, this is a first time for her, and there is no way she is doing anything with him without primping first.

She gets up and pads to the bathroom. She strips the T-shirt and yoga pants she's still wearing and for the first time since she woke up last night, she looks at her body in the mirror. She almost doesn't recognize herself. She seems slightly bigger all the way around. Not that much larger, maybe not even a whole size, but it's noticeable to her. She isn't as toned as she once was, especially in her torso. Her breasts and nipples are larger than they were, and there is still a pudge in her stomach. There are stretch marks everywhere- on her hips, on her thighs, on her stomach, on her breasts. She can't help but stare because everything is so different. She doesn't think she's ever felt this unattractive in her entire life. She swears there is no way that Barney would ever want to have sex with her like this.

"You're still beautiful to me, you know," he says huskily from the doorway, reading her mind. He can tell by the look on her face that her body was not what she was expecting it to be.

"Fuck, Barney! What are you doing in here?!" she screams, frantically trying to cover her body. She covers her breasts with her arm, and whips around to grab a towel off the rack behind her.

He knows he's probably lost all the trust he gained in the last few hours, but he's worried about her. So much has happened in the last sixteen hours and he just wants the best for her.

"Sorry," he mutters, looking away. "I shouldn't have come in here. But I came back to bed and you weren't there and I was worried. I didn't mean to scare you."

"You're right. You shouldn't have," she snaps as she secures the towel around herself. He turns to walk out and she huffs loudly. "I'm sorry. It's just that my body is so different now," she sighs. "I don't even feel like the same person anymore. I just feel fat and wrinkley."

"You are so far from that. Yes, Brianna left her mark on you, but to me that makes you even more sexy." He approaches her from behind so she can still look in the mirror and puts his hands on her waist, and slowly moves one to her stomach. "This keeps going down by the day. Yes, its still there, but every day it gets smaller and smaller. It will be gone before you know it, and you will back to your awesome bikini body in no time. And these," he says grabbing her breasts through the towel, "these are my dream come true. They were sexy before, but now, now I just can't get enough of them."

She doesn't know how to react to his touches. His hands are still on her, and he's still close behind her, but it's not weird. It's not weird at all. The more that she thinks about it, the more she realizes that his pep talk is surprisingly helpful, and not creepy or uncomfortable like she thought it might be. His touches aren't turning her off like she thought they would, but instead it is turning her on more.

"Can I have a half an hour to shower?" she squeaks.

"Sure," he answers. He senses he is being too awkward with her, and he pulls his body and hands away, and steps towards the door. "I'm really sorry," he says as he turns to the door to leave.

"Sorry for what?" she asks, as she looks at him confused. She's more upset that the moment is over then she would like to be.

"Sorry for being so forward. I shouldn't have touched you like that," he admits. "I hope I didn't make things too weird for you."

"It was a bit weird at first, but maybe that was just what I needed," she says, dropping the towel to the floor right in front of his eyes. "Maybe you can tell me some more later," she says with a wink.

He's stunned. He can't believe that she just willingly got naked in front of him. Maybe there is more hope of things getting back to normal than he thought.

* * *

When she gets out of the shower a half hour later, she feels strangely like her old self. Sexy, confident, ready to score. She still can't quite believe that she is going to go through with this, but she's made up her mind, and she's more than ready to go. Her blood has been pumping throughout the entire shower just thinking about him and the way that he touched her earlier. The way his body felt against hers.

Now that she is well-groomed again- seriously how long had it been since she shaved- she heads out to the bedroom to get something sexy to wear. She opens and closes drawers until finally, she comes upon the lingerie drawer. She pulls out a red set and shimmies it on. Surprisingly, it fits her perfectly, and it even has a corset to go with it, which pulls in her stomach to a more desirable circumference. She just gets back into the bathroom to put on some make up, when Barney walks in the door.

"Uhhh…" he mutters, taking in the sight of his wife in sexy lingerie, the look on his face dumbfounded, as if he had just seen a ghost. She looks like she has been caught red-handed.

"I came in to get you because Bri is hungry and I used up all the bottles that you pumped yesterday." She can't even speak. She doesn't know what to say. "What is um... going on?" he questions.

"I uhhhhh…." she stalls. She has no idea how to explain herself. How can she even begin to explain that she was going to try to seduce him.

"You were going to try and seduce me weren't you?" he deduces.

"No," she murmurs, starting to giggle. Gosh, he hasn't heard that giggle in years. That's her lying giggle. She's certainly gotten better at lying over the years, but he always thought she was cute when she giggled like that.

"You're lying." Damn. She forgot her tell. She's really got to work on that.

"Yes," she admits.

"I would have said no," he tells her certainly, and it's news to her. She can't imagine him turning down sex. From what she knows, he would jump the bones of any girl that moves. And with everything he's been asking her in her real life lately, he certainly wouldn't turn down sex with her.

"Ha, like you can go this long without sex," she implies harshly. He's a bit taken aback, and a bit offended. He doesn't know how to get it through to her that he's changed.

"It's not that important," he shrugs, hoping she gets the message. He wants her to know that there is more to their life together than just sex.

"It's not that _important_? You of all people are saying sex isn't  _important_?"

"Oh it is," he replies, because it is. He would love nothing more than to skip his evening plans and have sex with her right now, but that is the last thing she needs. "But I don't want the first time that you remember to be just about sex, and right now, that's what you are thinking.  _You,"_ he accuses, "are trying to take advantage of the situation."

"Well…" she can't respond to that, so she gives the most spoiled teen answer. "So?"

"I love you too much to let you do that," he tells her. "This relationship is about more than just sex. And frankly, you aren't ready for it yet."

"Wait?" Is she hearing this clearly? "You're withholding sex?" She laughs, because again, it seems like a joke. "Like that would last long," she chides sarcastically. "Like what's the longest you've ever gone without sex, two days?" In her time, that wouldn't have been too far off, but she's missed a lot of time, and her entire pregnancy on top of it. If she only knew what that was like.

"Six months," he replies.

"SIX MONTHS?!" she shouts in shock. There is no way he could have gone six months without sex. No way.

"And that is exactly why you aren't ready for this," he explains calmly. She doesn't know that it isn't just about sex between them, that there is something more behind it. "I don't want to be just another lay in your mind. Besides, I would go another six months if the reward was as great as the last time. Now speaking of that reward," he alludes to her pregnancy, "she is going to start screaming bloody murder soon, and really, neither of us are going to want that, because when she screams, it takes a darn long while to get her quiet again. And then the rest of the night will be ruined."

"Fine," she groans. "Where is she?"

"In her swing in the living room."

"Can you come pick her up?" she asks. She's only held her once, and she doesn't think she is anywhere close to being ready to pick her up.

"You are going to have to learn to pick her up sometime," he tells her. She gives him the evil eye. "I will come with you, but you have to do it."

"Fine."

* * *

A half an hour later, Robin is quite proud of herself. Not only did she pick up Brianna, with Barney there of course, but she managed to feed her without his help. She even managed to put her back in the swing. After she returns to the couch to sit down, feeling a bit awkward in the lingerie covered by a bathrobe, Barney comes over and hands her what appears to be some sort of torture device.

"What's this for?" she asks, having no idea what it's even for.

"Pumping milk."

"Oh," she mutters. It makes sense now that he says it. She never knew quite how that worked before. But it still doesn't explain quite why she is holding it. "Why are you giving it to me?" she questions.

"So you can get some bottles ready," he explains. He realizes it's going to take a long, long time to explain everything to her.

"But I just fed her," she whines.

"I know, but I want to take you out to dinner," he shares.

"What?" she questions a little too loudly and a little too quickly. He can't actually be suggesting a date can he?

"Lily and Marshall agreed to watch her for the night, and I want to show you the new side of our relationship. Then maybe I will agree to sex."

"But I thought you had to have sex with a girl at least three times before you took her out to dinner."

"Well, first of all, I've already had sex with you more than three times, and I'm a changed man," he smiles at her. "So what you say?" He looks hopeful, and for some reason, she does want to go. She always does have fun with him, so it would make sense to go out to dinner with him.

"Yes," she responds happily. The way she says it reminds him of another yes she said once. He just wishes that she would remember it too.

A smile erupts across his face. "You take care of that, go get changed, wear something sexy, and I will get everything ready to go," he announces, running off in the direction of the bedroom, leaving her alone with Brianna in the living room.

It takes her a bit to figure out just how to make the pump work, but she's pretty smart, and has it working within a few minutes. Barney comes in and out, having changed into another fancier suit, and she can tell that this is going to be an A game kind of date. He moves Brianna, around, and grabs a few things to put in the diaper bag. She's still amazed at how good at this dad thing he is.

After she finishes pumping, which is even more bizarre of a sensation than feeding the baby, she goes back to the bedroom alone and opens the closet. She walks in, admiring the clothing, and the mingling of suits with what is her clothing. At the back of the closet she finds not one, but two wedding dresses, only one of which she saw in the picture. She finds a little odd that there are two, but she decides not to question it. She also finds a long red beaded dress, which is stunning, but she doesn't think it is right for the occasion. She eventually comes across a knee length black dress that is covered in lace. It seems see through in all the right places, yet is still classy enough to match his suit. She finds a different bra and panty set to put on, since he has already seen the ones she is still wearing. They are purple and black lace, and yet again, it has a corset. And last but not least, she finds a pair of red and black stilettos with silver bottoms to complete the set.

She has her hair and makeup done and her dress on when Barney pops his head in the bedroom to shout that everything is ready to go and their ride is going to be there in fifteen minutes. But when he finally walks into and sees her in the bathroom, he makes her feel wonderful once again.

"You sure know how to look hot Scherbatsky," he purrs, and she feels incredible. As much as she doesn't want to admit it, she's always wanted to be the center of his attention like this.

"Thanks," she answers. "Question though, where do I keep jewelry? I can't find it."

"Middle drawer of the dresser and pull up the handle. It's a hidden compartment." She can't say she's surprised by that. It would be something Barney would have, a secret compartment for valuables.

She stalks into the bedroom to find the perfect pair of earrings to wear to go along with the necklace that Barney told her she wears all the time. She opens the drawer, and she's impressed by the collection of very expensive jewelry. She doesn't find the necklace he told her about- something about a heart with two stones, but she was drifting in and out at that point in the hospital- which doesn't bother her, because a necklace wouldn't really go with the neckline of her dress, but she does find an amazing pair of diamond drop earrings that she quickly puts in her ears. She must have picked well, because he smiles when he sees her and he's quick to comment about them.

"You wore those earrings the night we got engaged."

"I did?"

"Yes, and they look stunning on you as always. Are you ready?" he asks, offering her a hand.

"I just have to slip my shoes on," she responds. "Where's Brianna?"

"Lily just picked her up while you were getting dressed."

"Ahh." She has to say she's a bit disappointed that she didn't get to say goodbye. "So where are we going?"

"You'll have to wait and see," he says slyly, and she can't help but wonder just what tonight is going to bring.


	7. Mega Date

To say she's nervous is an understatement. Here she is, going on a date with Barney Stinson. Yes, in this strange reality or dream she ended up in, she is married to him, but it's still a little bit weird. How can Barney even go out on a date? It just doesn't seem like something he would ever do. But then again, she wouldn't have ever expected Barney to be such a good father, and he's proved her very wrong on that so far.

The elevator ride is even a little awkward. She doesn't know what to expect from him. And the whole thing is a surprise on top of it. It's odd for her to be nervous in front of him. She's been nervous in front of other guys before, but not in front of him. It's only happens in front of guys she sees a future with. It's almost as if, as if she's developing feelings for him. And that is scarier than anything else she's dealt with in the past two days, including the baby.

She's broken out of her startling discovery by the sound of the elevator door opening. He pulls her out of the elevator by her hand, and before she knows it, they are hurrying across the lobby and out the door. When they are finally out on the street, she looks around to find the town car she expects, but doesn't see it anywhere.

"So where is the car?" Robin asks.

"We're not taking a car," Barney declares.

"What do you mean?" she questions. She's confused. He can't possibly be expecting her to walk in these heels could he? Although, that would be typical Barney, to not think of anyone else.

"We're taking that," he announces, pointing across the street at a horse drawn carriage. She's stunned. A horse drawn carriage is not Barney. That's something Ted would do. She can't help but wonder if Ted didn't have something to do with this.

"A carriage ride?" she challenges, mockingly. "We're going on a carriage ride?"

"This is a mega date," he proclaims. He tries to keep an upbeat attitude, despite her mocking tone. He knows this is another point where his wife disappears and his old friend reappears, the old friend that wanted nothing to do with love and romance. He's just afraid that he won't be able to turn this around, even by the end of the night. She may never get back to that romantic point, even if she's changed in this future.

"A mega date?" she ridicules. It's the most outrageous thing she's ever heard. "What does that even mean?" He can tell that she's getting annoyed, but he doesn't want to ruin it. Just like all their other great surprises throughout their marriage, he knows that the annoyance will be overtaken by the happiness when it's all over. At least he hopes it will be. He can never know for sure with this version of Robin.

"You'll see," he winks. She's starting to get incredibly frustrated. She hates surprises like this. "It makes much more sense than a superdate, right?" he adds. He always wanted this to be called a mega date. Only Ted would call it something as stupid as a superdate. But he had to call it that back then because he needed Ted's help. Now, he's grown up enough to plan this himself, so he can call it whatever he wants.

"I guess?" she answers, scrunching her eyebrows. There is obviously something behind the name, but at this point, she doesn't even want to know. She just hopes she doesn't regret doing this with him. "Can you at least tell me why we are doing this?"

"I just want to show you how much you mean to me," he says sincerely, in that tone that she never hears from him. It's so honest, and so not Barney. "I want you to believe it."

He grabs her hand again and pulls her across the street, into the carriage. She sure hopes that this isn't part of a trick, like the last time she was in a carriage. She really does not need to remember that moment. Besides, Barney would never let her forget it again.

But before she knows it, she's safely in the carriage, sitting down next to him, and they are off on their journey to wherever he is taking her.

"Ok," she says, breaking the silence. "Tell me something that I don't know."

"Something you don't know, or something that you know but don't remember?" he asks.

"Either one."

"You remember when I made Ted tell the story of how he rereturned for you?"

"Yes," she replies. She remembers it, but it seems like such a long time ago, even for her. She can only imagine it really is forever ago for him.

"And then Ted got you the new doormat to replace the other one?" he continues.

"Yeah." She remembers it well. It was such a touching moment. It made her fall for Ted even more than she already had. Of course, he was still with Victoria at the time. She had been depressed that she had lost him to her. Although, she hadn't been mad at Barney for bringing it up that night. She enjoyed the fact that it made Ted squirm, and at the time, she hoped that it would cause an argument between them. Of course it didn't, but the replacement doormat sure made up for it.

"He didn't get that for you." She throws her head around to look at him. There is no way that Ted didn't get that for her. Who else would have gotten it?

"But…" she argues, quite loudly, before he interrupts her yet again.

"I did."

Her mouth falls agape. She's not quite sure she's heard him right. He couldn't have possibly gotten it for her.

"You did?" she mutters, half in shock, and half teasing. She has this feeling that he might be lying to make her feel better.

"Yep," he admits proudly. He never told her that before, even after they married. "I felt bad because I made it awkward, and I made Ted go back. Plus, I knew it would make you happy."

There is something about the way he says it, just like all the other things he's said to her today, that makes her believe that this is real. It changes her whole outlook on her relationship with Ted though. That was one of the things that made her believe in their relationship, and it wasn't Ted at all. Not that she ever really knew for sure. She never asked him about it. She just assumed it was him. But now that the wheels are turning, it makes her realize something else. Barney didn't do it just to ease his conscience. He did it because he cared about her, which means he's cared about her for a long time. Longer than she ever thought. Even from the time she can remember, in 2008, he cares about her, maybe even is in love with her.

"Wow," she mutters, the new information still running through her head. "So you were in love with me in 2008?"

"No," he sighs. He wasn't 'in love' with her back then. When he thinks about it more though, he was. There was always something about her. "Well, I was," he admits. Because the more he thinks about it, the more he realizes it's true. He's really just admitting it to himself now. "I just didn't know it yet."

"What do you mean?" It's yet another thing that comes out of his mouth that makes no sense. How could he possibly love her and not know it? You either love someone or you don't. She doesn't know how there could be any in between.

"I always knew there was something between us, but I had no idea what it was. It was so new to me," he confesses. She can't do anything other than listen intently, because for her, she's realizing something. She feels the same way. She's always felt comfortable around him, and she knows her relationship with him has always been different than with the rest of the group. Could it be possible? Could she already be in love with him and not know it herself? "But then I had something happen to me that changed my life, and from then on I knew. I knew I loved you and I would never stop, even if I didn't want to admit it to myself."

It's hard to believe. She can't help but wonder what could have changed him. It's all a bit too overwhelming. So she does what she normally does and avoids it by changing the subject.

"You promised me that you were going to tell me about our relationship," she says. "About how we got here."

"Yeah," he mutters. He can tell exactly what she's doing. She's retreating, her specialty. Well, their specialty. He hates to see her do it, because he's grown used to her being open with him. He doesn't like it, but he knows she's still a bit scared, despite how well she's taken everything.

"So?" she questions, waiting for his reply.

"We had sex and you couldn't resist me," he jokes, giving her that slice of him that she remembers.

She rolls her eyes, and she can't help but laugh. Of course he would joke. "Be serious Barney," she scolds. She wants the truth from him this time. She wants to know how it all happened.

"We spent the night together, and I realized I was in love with you soon after," he starts to explain, so calmly and quietly that it's jarring. "I spent the next year secretly being in love with you." He smiles fondly at the memory. "There was this one time we went out to dinner during that time period, and you were so shocked with how nice I was, that you told me to act more like myself. So, I couldn't tell you, because I had no idea how to possibly tell you, and I thought that you would never love me back or even take me seriously." He sighs heavily, so glad that time is behind him. Those days that he spent pining over her were the worst.

"Then one day you found out about it, and we kissed. We spent the entire summer having sex," he laughs. Those days were amazing. She laughs too, but it's not out of happiness. It's mostly out of shock, and the thought of her having sex with him repeatedly for so long.

"We were in a relationship that we refused to acknowledge," he adds somberly. "On top of it, we didn't tell anyone, so when they found out, they made us start dating. The problem with that was we weren't ready for a relationship with each other." She can understand that. She's not sure how she could be ready for a relationship with him now.

"So we decided it was best if we stopped dating and became friends again. And we did for a while, but we kept realizing that we couldn't live without each other. Other people we dated would make the other jealous." He thinks about those days. They were without a doubt, some of the hardest of his life. He pauses, considering what to tell her next. Should he include that Ted's wife really brought them together again? He decides against it. Besides, he shouldn't tell her that he really needed convincing to go after her, because it would just scare her away.

"One day, I just got tired of it. I wanted to be with you, and you wanted to be with me, but you didn't want to admit it, because you were scared about losing me if things went wrong again. So I came up with a plan to win you back, I proposed, and you said yes."

"Wow," she murmurs, stunned by the entire revelation. "What was the plan?"

"I pretended to date a co-worker of yours so that you would get jealous."

"That seems so stupid," she scoffs. She doesn't see how she would have fallen for that. "It worked?"

"Yep."

"Huh."

"What?"

"I just can't imagine it," she answers. "I just feel like I don't know you."

"Well, let's spend the rest of the night getting to know each other again, and we will see how things go," he suggests. He can tell she's starting to come around, but he knows that no one can push Robin Scherbatsky into anything, even if she happens to be a Stinson now.

"I think I'd like that," she admits.

He leans over and chastely kisses her cheek. But to his shock, she is the one that turns and pulls his mouth in for a kiss.

It's simple, calm, and sweet, not at all like she expected kissing Barney to be. She finds it intoxicating, though, and doesn't want it to stop.

"Well, we're here," he announces excitedly, pulling away from her. He hopes that she will love this part. She finally looks around, and she's surprised by what she sees. It's not a restaurant, like she was expecting. Instead, they are right outside of an ice rink.

"I thought we were going out to dinner," she challenges. "This is an ice rink."

"Yeah, I thought this might be a little quieter than Rockefeller center," he answers, somewhat disappointed before turning back into the Barney she knows well with his sarcastic comment. "Plus it's May, so this was really the only choice."

"But skating? We're skating?"

"Yes."

"I thought you didn't like skating. You complained the whole time the last time we went."

"Maybe that's what I wanted you to see," he answers. She's stunned. She never thought that Barney might have lied about something like that, that it might have been a facade. "If I'm being honest, I spent a lot of time over the years building up a front. I had to be the awesome one."

"Who are you?" she asks sarcastically.

"Your husband."

"I feel like I know you so much and sometimes I feel like I don't know you at all," she sighs. She's so confused all the time.

"You do know me," he insists, and she can tell he's being sincere, that he's letting her in. "Even back in 2008, you knew me better than I knew myself. You could always see through me. Just think about it. When was the last time you didn't laugh at one of my jokes? When was the last time you preferred hanging out with Lily or Ted over me? When was the last time you honestly didn't care about what happened to me? You know there's more to me than just what I am on the outside."

His monologue has left her speechless. She doesn't know what to think. Part of her realizes he has a point, but should she let him know.

"You don't have to admit it now," he continues, knowing her, and her inner struggle the way he does. "But you might want to consider getting these skates on if you want to skate. We don't have all night. Size six right?"

He takes her smile as an admission as she grabs the skates from him.

* * *

"Hellooo!" Ranjit shouts as they climb in the back of the town car after ice skating.

"Ranjit!" Robin exclaims, glad to see another familiar face. "How are you?"

"Very good," he replies with his thick accent.

"Where are we off to?" she asks. It's been an confusing night so far, but skating had been much more fun and playful than she expected. She kept waiting for womanizer Barney to come back, but the entire time, he was focused on her and only her. And there had been some pretty hot women there, eights at least. But no matter what happened, he still treated her like she was the only girl in the world.

"Telepan, your favorite," Barney answers, waiting patiently for her reply. That restaurant had been the part of some very defining moments of their story.

"Oh my god! I just found that place! It's amazing!" she exclaims. She's finally excited. All of the worry she had earlier in the night is gone. She feels so much better about this date. Skating and dinner. It's just perfect.

"I know," Barney teases with a grin. "I've taken you there quite a few times." One time springs to mind though. It was their first real date. The one that Lily set up. She tricked them into it. He was a perfect gentleman that night, and she didn't believe he could be like that.

"Hmmm," she hums in contentment. She can't help but stare out the window. Right about now she wishes she knew the whole story. How they got here, how they changed. She wishes she had experienced it all herself, because it's just too amazing to wrap her head around.

* * *

"God, the food has only gotten better," Robin moans after tasting her first bite of Lobster Bolognese.

"I know. It's like us, we've only gotten better with time." She doesn't comment, and he just admires her. She still makes him just as crazy as ever.

"What?" she asks, catching him staring. She's not sure if she's flattered or creeped out.

"Nothing," he dismisses.

"No, come on, tell me," she insists. She can tell there is more to it.

"It's just been a while since we've been out to dinner alone together," he answers.

"How long?"

"Since the day before Brianna was born."

"So over two months?" Two months seems like such a long time to her. It's not her lifestyle, to be a homebody like that. But she knows if she has a newborn, things had to have changed.

"Yep," he confirms. It's upsetting to him that they are finally out alone together, and she doesn't remember. But she's incredible, because she's here, trying, and she seems to be having a great time.

She doesn't know what to say to answer him. She starting to feel the awkwardness of the early evening creep back with the choice of conversation, and with the way he is treating her right now. He's just too nice. She gets why, but he just doesn't seem like Barney to her.

"What are you thinking about?" he questions. He can see that she is thinking about something with the way she is staring off into space while she eats.

"Nothing. It's stupid," she rebuffs.

"That means it's far from stupid," she alarmed, because he's read her so well. "What is it really about?" he prods, wanting her to know she can open up to him.

"You're just so nice," she finally admits. "I'm just not used to it. I'm ready for you to be yourself. Not that you aren't being yourself," she clarifies when she sees the disappointment start to appear on his face. "I just don't know this side of you, and it seems weird to me."

He starts to chuckle at her comment. He mentally berates himself, because he knows it's just going to cause her to retreat, but at the same time, the irony is spread so thick.

"What? You think it's stupid don't you?" she laments. She's starting to hate that he made her believe it's okay to share, and now he's laughing at her.

"Not at all, it's not stupid at all," he answers, taking her hand and stroking it to calm her down. "It just reminds me of the first time we were here alone together."

"How is that?"

"Well, we were supposed to meet the gang here, but they didn't show up."

"Oh."

"Okay," he admits. "That's not true. They didn't show up on purpose. Actually, they never knew. Well Lily knew."

"Huh?" Now she's really confused. She doesn't get what this has to do with her comment at all.

"She kinda set us up on a date."

"A date?" She's shocked yet again tonight, wondering why Lily would have lied to set them up on a date. But she thinks back to Barney's story from earlier, and it makes sense. Lily would have to lie to them to get them on a date.

"Yeah. A date. Except you had no idea it was a date. You said almost the exact same thing that night," he replies. And it clicks for her why he laughed. It would be ironic that she said the exact same thing all these years later. "And don't worry," he adds. "I can still pull off the inappropriate. I just only do it for you now."

* * *

"Dinner was amazing. Thank you Barney," she says sweetly, once they are back in the car with Ranjit.

"Of course" he answers. "Anything for you." She hears the sincerity in his voice. She gets why he wanted to take her on this date now. Her opinion of him has certainly changed in the last few hours.

"That still seems so weird to me. But did I pass?" She wants to know, because she's ready for that next step. Not that she wasn't ready before, but she's even more ready now.

"Night's not over yet," he says, laughing.

"Huh?" she mutters yet again. Surprises seem to be the theme of the night.

"There's more."

"There's more?"

"It's a mega date. Of course there is more," he answers cockily, grinning like an idiot. Even though she's surprised there is more, she's not surprised at all. It is Barney after all, and he would be the one to pull off a surprise like this. "Ranjit! To Times Square!"

"To Times Square!"

* * *

"Sorry it's a little last minute, so they're not the best seats," Barney apologizes as they sit down in the theater. She has no idea what he's talking about. They are in the Orchestra section, and the view of the stage is amazing.

"These are amazing seats," she argues. "How did you do this?"

"A magician never reveals his tricks." She rolls her eyes at his comment. Every once in a while she gets a glimpse of the old trickster Barney. But the longer the night goes on, the more she realizes that she always liked those little lines and jokes. The only thing she didn't like about him was the parade of bimbos. It's almost as if this version of him is new and improved. It's all the things she liked about him, mixed with the things she's always secretly wanted him to be.

"What's this show even about?" she asks. "I've never heard of it."

"Not sure, but I've heard good things about it."

"You've heard things about a musical?" she asks sarcastically. Even with his new and improved facade, she still can't see him loving a musical. He's just not that kind of guy.

"I've changed!" he insists. She glares at him with an evil eye, trying to get him to admit it.

"Okay," he finally admits. "Ted's wife is obsessed with it."

"That sounds more like it," she cackles.

"Fun fact though," he adds, "one of the actresses in the original cast was her doppelgänger."

"Wow!" she mutters. "We've only found Marshall's and mine so far."

"Actually…"

"Wait, you've seen another one?" He nods in confirmation. "That's awesome! Whose did you see?"

"All of them."

"All of them?" she asks, excitedly. Now this is something that she really wants to know about. "Come on. Spill. What were they?"

"Ted's is a wrestler!"

"Man that's cool," she mutters. That's so much better than her own.

"That's the boring one!" Barney exclaims.

"How is that even possible?" There is no way that a wrestler isn't the coolest of the doppelgangers.

"Mine is a gynecologist slash fertility specialist."

"Oh my god! How did you find that one?" She has a difficult time not laughing hysterically at that one. Of all the things that Barney's doppelganger could have been, she's not surprised that the universe picked that one out. She pities the poor women that would have fallen for plays after that one.

"Lily."

"Oh dear," she moans, still laughing.

"Yeah. I actually almost got locked in his office," he sighs. "Lily made me come to her appointment to make sure it wasn't me. And then they put me in Ted's stupid sensory deprivator thing. The janitor had to let me out."

"Why would she think it was you?" She's just a bit curious about that. Lily should have known that he wouldn't do that to  _her_.

"I may have impersonated some doctors and pretended to be my doppelgänger before," he admits, slightly embarrassed that he has to tell Robin this part of the story. "I can't say I blame her."

"So what was Lily's?"

"That one's awesome. That one's more than awesome," he exclaims, and she kind of loves it. It's a bit of her Barney. "It's legen- wait for it- dary! Legendary!"

"Well what was she?" Just the way he says it makes her excited. She hopes that it's not a letdown.

"A stripper!" Nope. Not a letdown.

"Oh my god! No way!"

"Yes way!"

"Wow," she mutters, finally realizing something. If this really is the future, and not a dream, she'll never get to see these things. They are gone. She'll never experience those moments again. It leaves her saddened. "I wish I could have seen all that."

He feels awful, because she's right. Those are moments she might not get back. She may never remember the doppelgangers, or his proposal, or their wedding, or the birth of their daughter. It may all be gone.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean…" Barney says, apologizing.

"No. It's okay," she agrees, knowing it's not his fault. She can see how awful he feels about it, and she doesn't want him to feel that way. "Let's just enjoy the show, alright?"

"Sure."

* * *

"So are we picking up Bri now?" Robin asks. The show was amazing. Apparently, it almost swept the Tony's one year. Of course, she'd never heard of it, since it didn't come out until after her time, but it was amazing nonetheless. The evening as a whole had been lovely, but it had been long. She was ready to go home.

"Not quite yet." She sighs. He can't really expect her to do any more can he?

"Why not?" she groans.

"I told you. This is a mega date. It's not over yet," he answers with a wink. She doesn't know whether she should be annoyed or not.

"But where could we be going?"

"You'll see." She really hopes this is the last thing.

Before she realizes it, the car has stopped, and they are in what appears to be a business district.

"Okay, Barney. This one makes no sense. We are outside of the World Wide News building. Why would we end our date here?"

"You'll see." She groans again. This better be the end. There is something about this that is foreboding, and she doesn't like it.

She follows him inside to the elevators. She has no idea how he gets them past security, but at this point, she is way too tired to even question him. She watches as he pushes the button for the top floor. Even though she's tired, there's an undeniable bit of thrill to this. Like she's taken this ride before. There is something more to this.

They walk out of the elevator and he drags her to a stairwell. Her feet hurt, but he's so enthusiastic, that she wants to follow. They're up the flight of stairs in no time, and they finally end up standing before a large door. He opens the door for her and lets her walk through first. It's a plain roof, some tables scattered around, but just for a second, she swears she sees rose petals, candles, twinkling lights and a lone piece of paper. It almost like a weird hallucination, but it's gone so fast. She shakes it off, and just continues.

Then he's dragging her to the roof ledge and pointing to the sky.

Fireworks explode all around, and even though it's short, it's one of the most amazing things she's ever seen. She even wants to cry, it's so beautiful. It's a reaction she's never had before , but she can't help it. No one's ever done something like this for her before.

"Thank you," she expresses, tears welling up in her eyes. "This night has been perfect."

"I'm glad." He's so happy. Everything that he wanted to do tonight to get her to remember helped.

Suddenly, he grabs her and pulls her into a kiss. It's not entirely unexpected, but it's so good, even better than before. This time, it's exactly like she expected it to be, if not better. It knocks every other dream kiss she's had with him out of the water. She's ready. She's passed his test, and she's ready for more.


	8. Fireworks

The evening has been incredible. It is by far the most romantic date she's ever been on, which surprises the hell out of her coming from Barney. She doesn't understand how she is feeling. If Ted had taken her on this date, she would have scoffed. But somehow, it makes her see a whole different side of Barney than she could have imagined. He's a closet romantic, right down to the cheesy kiss in front of the fireworks. But there was something about doing it with him that made it incredible in a way that wouldn't have been with anyone else. And that kiss. Man, that kiss. Really, all the kisses of that night. She'd been kissed by Barney in a dream before, but it was never anything like that. The passion in the kiss, it almost made her orgasm on the spot, if that was even possible.

After resting on his shoulder on the way home, they arrived back to the apartment, still Brianna-less. She wonders why they didn't pick her up on their way back, but after Barney gently cups the back of her head and pulls her into a gentle kiss, she understands.

He's going to let her win. They're going to have sex.

She can start to feel the anticipation rumble low in her stomach as he kisses her. This is really happening. She's going to have sex with Barney. She could try to convince herself that this is just some really long dream, but she knows it's not. She's been here too long, and everything feels so real.

Her heart is pounding, sending blood to places further south, making her want this even more than she already did.

Barney slowly and tentatively brushes his hand up her right side, following the still-clothed contours of her body, and she shivers in delight. All of this is much better than she imagined. If it is this good with clothes on, how is it going to feel when she's naked?

Suddenly, her primal need to have him takes over. She reaches out for his tie, grabbing the knot, and pulling it out as hard and as fast as she can. He slowly pushes her away, and forces her to look him in the eyes.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asks.

She stares into his crystal blue eyes and nods. "Prove what you said to me the other night at the bar," she murmurs.

"Huh?" He pulls away and questions, confused, because they weren't at the bar since she's been here.

"Sorry my other night," she utters once she sees his confusion. "Do you remember when you had that girl stalking you, Marshall and Ted stole Lily's chalkboard, and we made a bracket on it of the girls that could have been stalking you?"

He nods, remembering that night. It seems like such a long time ago for him, almost in another universe. A universe where he didn't have Robin, where she was unattainable. When he looks back on it now, he knows he loved her back then. It's part of what makes him remember that night so clearly.

She was the pawn in their set-up. Barney was allowed to hit on her, allowed to touch her, in a way he never would have been allowed otherwise. However, he hadn't been expecting her to ask him what he says to the women he gets to sleep with him. The thing was, at the time, he couldn't tell her that. There was no one thing he said to women. They always wanted to go home with him. He didn't have to work to get them. At that point in time, she was the only girl that he ever had to try to get into bed, and up until that point, he had been failing.

So that night, he just made up the first thing that came to mind. He told her what it would be like if she finally gave in. He doesn't remember exactly what he said to her, but he knows that what he's done with her now far outshines whatever he said that night. He does remember, though, that it was dirty and depraved.

"Are you sure that's what you want? You want it rough?"

"Yeah," she mutters, barely able to let out a breath. She does. She wants him in the way she's imagined it. Strong, rough, with the stamina to outlast everyone she's been with by tenfold.

He finally lets her go, and she quickly moves her hands back to his tie. He grabs the back of her head with both of his hands, bringing her lips towards his. Their lips crash together in fervor, and she finds herself helpless against his imploring tongue, along with the clichéd weak in the knees she's never believed in.

He breaks off the kiss, shrugs off his coat, and pulls her back towards their bedroom. He is pulling her so fast, that she has to run in her heels to keep up with him.

As they get to the door, he pulls her close, spins her around, and pushes her back to lay on the bed. To him, it reminds him of that one forbidden night together, but he pushes that out of his mind. He can't help but be thankful that this Robin has absolutely no memory of that night and the horrible nights that followed. And if he has anything to say about it, she's never finding out either.

He climbs on the bed to straddle her, and kisses her like his life depends on it. She reaches her arms up to undo the buttons on his shirt. She undoes them all, as he continues to passionate kiss her. She wonders if the skill with which she does this is really muscle memory, because there is no way she could really be  _this_  in sync with Barney.

She gets to the last button and reaches immediately for his belt, unbuckling it and unbuttoning his pants. She pulls his shirt out from where it is tucked in. He breaks away from her to stand, removing his shirt in the process and throwing it across the room she watches as his perfectly sculpted abs and chest come into view, but she sees something else. Something she's never seen before, even though he's seen him without a shirt on a few times before.

She sees scars.

The jagged lines across his side turn her on. It scares her how much it makes her want him, that somehow her lust for him is being amped up even more by her brain. She doesn't particularly care about how he got them either, until her eyes travel to his arm.

"What is this?" she asks, pointing at the long straight scar, one that is definitely from a surgery.

"I don't want to talk about it," he brushes off. There is absolutely no way he wants to go there with her.

"It's just I haven't seen it before," she adds. She can tell he is being evasive, and it bothers her slightly. Why would he need to hide scars? And why are the scars really there?

"You wouldn't have. It's from a long time ago," he tries to explain. "I really don't want to talk about it," he insists. "Maybe sometime, but not right now."

"No Barney, I've seen you without a shirt on before, and I've never seen these," she continues to press.

"I said I don't want to talk about it," he defends angrily, climbing back onto the bed with her.

"Sorry," she apologizes meekly. "I shouldn't have asked." They sit in silence, not even touching. She wonders why she had to ruin it. She was so close to what she wanted, but she struck a nerve, and she has no idea why. "Are you sure you are ok? There aren't any negative side effects?" she questions.

He sighs. He still doesn't want to go there; he doesn't want to explain the whole story, especially right now. He figures he can at least give her this answer.

"No. I'm just fine," he answers, and for the sake of getting back to business he adds, "and I would get them again, because they were the best thing to ever happen to me."

She stares at him. It seems like such a weird thing to say. She can tell by his reaction that whatever happened to him was not something he likes to talk about, but it makes it even more confusing as to why he would want that to happen again.

He can understand that she is confused, but he means it. That moment was when he  _knew_ that he loved her. If he didn't have those scars, she might not even be here. He might still be single and hitting on bimbos at the bar. The thought of that existence makes him want to pull her close and never let her go.

"I'm sorry," he amends, grabbing her hand in his to comfort her. "I didn't even think about the fact that you wouldn't know about this. I promise I will talk about it sometime, but not right now. I don't want to ruin the mood." She breathes deeply, trying to take it all in. It's one of those moments where she notices she is in the presence of a very different version of Barney. "Are you sure you still want to do this?"

She continues to stare straight ahead for a minute before looking him in the eyes. "I do. I've actually wanted you for a while now." He can't help but be shocked. In all the years they've been together, she never admitted that she actually wanted him at that time. She kept turning him down back then, but he always thought that it was about him. "I've always been attracted to you. I just didn't want things to get awkward. I didn't want Ted to freak out." He chuckles out loud, eliciting a bit of a glare from her. That has to be the understatement of the year. If she only knew, he thinks. "But yet, I want you," she continues. "I want you to show me. Prove what you said to me."

"Oh I'll prove it," he murmurs seductively, pulling her back up to a sitting position, and reaching behind her to unzip her dress. He bends his mouth down to nibble at the spot on her neck he knows drives her crazy. He hears her moan in delight, and he knows, that even though she might not remember them, she is still the same person. She has the ability to become the woman he loves. In many ways, she still is the sexy, strong, independent woman that he loves.

Robin, on the other hand, can't think about anything. She's hardly had anyone find this spot on her neck, let alone focus on it like this. It draws so much attention away from her surroundings that she doesn't even feel him drag the top of her dress down to her waist. The next thing she knows, she is running her fingers through his hair, as his tongue follows the lace edges of her bra.

Before she's knows it, she is up on her knees, and he's pulling her dress over her head, leaving her in the sexy lingerie she put on earlier.

"You little minx," he mutters. She looks as smoldering as ever, but he can't believe that she dressed like that. Her entire plan had been to seduce him, and she told him earlier that she wants it rough. She wants the stories he used to tell her, about how he rocked girls' worlds. He can rock her world more than any of those girls combined with just a normal day, but she has no idea. If rough is what she wants though, that's what she's going to get. There can be time later for the sweet and tender that he knows she also likes. He doesn't have to do everything at once.

To Robin, the way he says those words, the way his voice grumbles, shoots through her in the same way his words at the bar did a few days earlier. She runs her hands over his smooth chest, while leaning into kiss him, admiring his muscles in a way she never thought she'd be allowed too. She lets them slide down his body to his waist, enjoying the mumble coming from his lips. She feels in control of the situation in a way. She always expected him to be the one in control, to be the sex god, but the way she has him reacting just to her touch, proves that wrong entirely. He's letting her get to him. But at the same time, the fact that he is submitting to her this much bothers her. It makes her feel vulnerable, not in a bad way, but vulnerable nonetheless.

He senses her hesitation yet again, and he can't blame her. He remembers just how nervous they both were their first time together. Of course, back then, neither one of them knew the other well enough to tell, and they were drunk enough not to let it hinder them, but it had been there. That point right before they were completely naked, yet dressed and thoroughly making out, the awkwardness was there.

Somehow, he knows that the best thing for her in this moment is for him to take over, to let this be just about sex, as much as he might want it to be about his love for her and showing him what a romantic and loving husband he can be.

He backs away from her and slides his remaining clothing off of his hips. Robin can't believe her eyes. In all her dreams before, naked Barney had a very specific look to him. Her imagination had sculpted him in a way that most women would faint. But this time, he looked different. He was still incredibly hot, but he looked more human than she would have imagined. And he wasn't as large as she would have expected. Not that he was small, by any means, but by the way he bragged, she had been expecting something different.

She tries her hardest to block out of her mind why he looks different this time. She really doesn't want to deal with the concept of fantasy vs. reality right now. She wants to live in the moment, and forget every weird thing that is going on right now. Because regardless of how he looks compared to what she knows, he's still incredibly hot, dare she say, one of the hottest men she's ever been with.

He climbs back on to the bed with her, just wondering just how this is going to go. He realizes that she blanked out seconds ago, staring at him. He left her stare. He didn't try to break her out of her silence, because in no way does he want to rush her into anything. He wants her to want this. Still, it's hard for him, and no, not just in that way. He wants to help her through this. He wants to help her get used to the idea of them being a couple.

So when she pushes him down on the bed and straddles him seconds later, he's more than shocked. It's almost as if there are two different personalities in her. The one that is very much her 2008 self and still scared of being in this new environment, and the sex goddess who likes it dirty. And worse, they are alternating so fast, that he's having trouble keeping up.

Right now though, he will thoroughly enjoy the sex goddess part of her, as she grinds into him. There is only one thin layer between them at this point, and he can feel just how into this she is. He's missed her being quite this enthusiastic. They certainly hadn't been Marshall and Lily when it came to getting back into sex after the baby, but she hasn't been quite this wild since before Brianna was born, dare he say since before they found out she was pregnant.

He reaches behind her, and with one quick flip of the wrist, her bra is falling forward. She pulls it off of her arms, and throws it across the room, not caring where it lands. Within seconds, his hands are grazing her breasts, and she realizes he already proven it. He has her writhing, moaning, and more ready to go than she's ever been with any man ever.

He quickly pushes her off of him and on to the bed beside him. He hooks his fingers into the waist of her panties and slowly pulls them down her long legs. Once he realizes that she shaved for him, he moves even slower, teasing her the way she's been teasing him all night.

He moves to kneel between her legs, as she brings her knees to her shoulders. He's more than ready to give her the experience she wants, until he's about to guide himself inside and he realizes that he's missing a condom. They both agreed a few weeks ago that there would be no more babies. One was certainly more than enough for them, and they didn't want to risk anything happening again. Still, they both were having a hard time getting used to using protection again.

He bends down, pushing a quick kiss to her lips, before pulling away from her.

"I'll be right back."

She's a bit confused, but it clicks when she sees where he moves to. She didn't even think about protection. But watching him, knowing he's close now, so close to being inside of her, makes her stomach flutter.

Before she knows it, he's back between her legs, he's teasing her with his cock, and he's playing with her lips to push himself inside of her.

He pushes himself inside of her, as hard as he can, and he's rewarded by a loud yelp of pleasure.

"You like that?" He asks, his voice an octave deeper than normal.

She nods in submission, her eyes closed and her head tilted back, enjoying the feeling.

"You little minx," he growls, pulling back out and slamming back in. He keeps repeating, pulling out slowly, and slamming back in, letting the pressure build for both of them.

She in turn pushes her hips off of the bed in an effort to meet his strong thrusts and she wonders why she didn't do this sooner. All this time she's known Barney, she had no idea that this is what she was missing.

With every thrust, Barney can see his wife. He doesn't see the Robin that he has to impress, or prove that he's an amazing husband or father to. He sees the woman he married, the woman he can make tremble with only a touch. When she's like this, it's like everything is back to normal. Like nothing's changed. They can be together like normal, just the two of them fucking against the world. All he wants is to make her happy right here and right now.

So he pushes on, letting the bad thoughts of the past few days escape his head, and letting little Barney do all the thinking. The heavy thrusting and Robin's loud moans prove to be a successful distraction.

It doesn't take long for her to start to feel everything. She feels the familiar tingle start in her back, but to her surprise, it builds and builds before it starts to spread to the rest of her body. The second it overtakes her, she loses all control. Her fingers clench, her feet curl, and her body spasms so hard she almost feels like she can't breathe.

Seeing Robin lose control in an orgasm that looks stronger than the one after the six month dry spell, makes him even weaker. But the moment she pulls him in tighter, he's gone to the world. He lets the pressure ride over him, as he enjoys the last few moments with her and just her.

He collapses on top of her, planting a small kiss on her neck, in that spot she loves. The act brings Robin back to consciousness, back to where she is and what she just did, with Barney no less. She tries to bring her arms up to hug him, but she's trembling so much, she can't.

All Barney can think is that he wants to stay here forever. He wants to stay in this world where his wife is still his wife and they can be intimate. He doesn't want to go back to the awkwardness of the reality where she doesn't know him or their child. Unfortunately, he knows he can't. He knows he has to remove himself from her, because that's what this version of Robin would expect and want. He attempts to push himself up on his hands, but she stops him.

"Stay?"

He nods and collapses back on top of her, rubbing her shoulders. He's overjoyed that she's left him in like this, and he is going to take advantage of the moment for as long as he can.

* * *

Just an hour later, she's lying next to him, cuddled up in his arms, sound asleep. He realizes things could be worse. Things could be a lot worse. She is warming up to the idea of them, and he knows that it would not be like this if it were him. He would not be here, in her arms, after a romantic date. He can't help but wonder if this is his punishment for all those years that he lived a life he shouldn't have, for all those years he didn't want a wife or a baby. He gets to have it, but it's not as it should be. He wants to know why it had to happen to them.

It's then that he realizes what makes this whole situation even worse. The tears start to threaten to spill out of his eyes. Of course this was the weekend that she had to fall. He feels awful. He guesses maybe it's a good thing that Bri is just a baby and won't remember, but the fact is, he was looking forward to tomorrow. He was looking forward to spoiling Robin and making her feel special. He was looking forward to celebrating the holiday, the one that even last year, they never thought they would get to celebrate: her first mother's day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to apologize. I never meant for this twist to happen, but I decided earlier this week that I should figure out when exactly this happens, and of course, it ended up being mother's day weekend. I literally cried when I realized it. It did give me an idea of how to finish up the story, which I am planning on doing in the next few weeks. I also am at the end of my sports season, so I should have a lot more time to finally get back to writing.


	9. The Morning After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me way longer than I wanted to, and I actually split this chapter into two pieces. I have the next one almost done too, so if all goes well (which I am pretty sure it won't, that seems to be life right now), I should have it up in a few days.
> 
> I have changed the name of Mara to Tracy in this story.

"Hey baby girl. Mama and dada are right here. I love you and mama loves you too, she just doesn't remember you right now, so if she doesn't want to hold you like normal, don't worry, cause she will soon."

She turns over in bed to see Barney sitting near his pillow, with his knees pulled up towards his chest, balancing the baby on his knees so she can see him. Even two days in now, it is still bizarre to see Barney so comfortable in carrying a baby around. She is not sure she will ever be that comfortable. Every time she has touched her and picked her up so far she has been terrified.

"Hey look, mama's awake," Barney coos sweetly at the baby, after noticing Robin looking at them.

"Hey," she mutters, smiling at him. "What are you doing up already?"

"I thought I would get her before you woke up, so you could sleep in." She doesn't know how to react. Her brain knows that the man in front of her is Barney, but she still doesn't understand how he can be like this. He is so sweet to her, so accommodating; something that no matter times he proves to her otherwise, she can't help but wonder if it is some sort of a front.

"So what happens today?" Robin asks, trying to go with the flow, no matter how weird it feels.

"We are supposed to go out for brunch." He's worried. In fact, he didn't sleep much after she fell asleep. He worried about what today is going to bring, and the disappointment of the fact that this had to happen on mother's day of all weekends, that this even had to happen at all. Worst of all, he knows this Robin's feelings on brunch. He used to feel the same way. It was lame and coupley and gross, until they found each other. Even when they were secretly dating, it wasn't something they would admit to liking, and to this day it still wasn't something they went out of their way to do. But this day wasn't supposed to have those two scared people, nor was it supposed to be a gooey meal about being in love. It was supposed to be a time to celebrate Mother's day with their friends. He doesn't want to have to upset her, but he has a feeling that somehow, this will.

"Oh my god, really?" she snickers. It's so ridiculous to think about. The last time she saw Barney go out to brunch was when Ted's parents were in town over a year ago, and she hadn't been there herself since she broke up with Ted. She could safely say that brunch was not her thing. It wasn't even when she was with Ted, but she did it for him.

"Yeah," Barney mutters.

"We go to brunch?" she questions skeptically.

"Yes."

"That's like couple's disease." The pain hits him square in the chest. Of course she would say that. He tries to remind himself that she just doesn't know.

"We don't go that often," he adds, to try to make her feel better. "It's just…"

"What?"

"We are going out with the gang."

"Oh," she mutters quietly. She feels guilty for protesting. It's not something that he wants to do really, or at least that's what she tries to tell herself. Maybe he hasn't changed that much.

"And it's actually Mother's Day today."

"Oh…" Her stomach sinks. It's Mother's Day. She has a baby. Holy crap.

The silence lingers in the air between them. Neither of them is willing to acknowledge to the other what this means. She just found out she had a daughter, and he is upset that she won't even be comfortable with her child on her first Mother's Day, let alone not remembering her birth or how much she loves her.

"So did you enjoy last night?" he asks, changing the subject to something a little less awkward as he puts Bri down between the two of them, and turns on his side. She turns to imitate his position.

"I did," she says with a sly smile, thinking back on it. It was an incredible experience. She would be up for that again for sure. "Did you?"

"Of course," he answers, his voice lower than normal as he stares in her eyes. "I enjoy every night with you."

He leans over to kiss her. If it was any other guy, Robin would think this is a fairy tale. The moment is so comfortable and sweet, that she realizes she actually is enjoying herself. She's happy. She's happy in a way she hasn't been in a long time. And for once, it doesn't scare her. There is just one thing holding her back. One tiny, adorable thing.

"I do have a question though."

"What's that?" he asks with a questioning look.

"How do you look so natural with her? You seem like you've known her and been around babies forever."

"I didn't know anything at first," he admits. "The first few weeks were not the greatest. Neither of us really knew what to do, but we realized we just had to do it. We had to take care of her. Once we jumped in and just did it, it just happened," he explains. She watches him mindlessly stroke the baby's stomach. "Why don't you touch her?" he offers.

Because I'm scared, Robin wants to answer, but she knows that is not really that good of an excuse. She's already held her twice, and even fed her, so there is no reason to be scared, yet she still is. It is still too new to her, but she doesn't want to look scared, so she reaches out nervously, and touches the top of the baby's head.

"Her hair is really soft," she murmurs instantly. It's the first thought that popped into her head. She touches her so gently, and she regrets choosing her head. The head is like a baby's self-destruct button.

"Yeah it is," he agrees. He's been intently watching her facial expressions for the past few minutes, but the minute she touches the baby, he can see her face soften. The reaction almost happens like magic. She becomes so calm.

"She's so beautiful," she sighs. She's realized this isn't that scary at all. Nothing is happening to the baby because she is touching her.

"I know. She's just like her mother." He smiles at her, and she returns a look. "Are you still uncomfortable?"

"No… yes…" she stumbles over the words, because even if she realized it isn't as scary as she thought, she's still not quite there yet. "I don't know. I shouldn't. I know I shouldn't. It's just still new. I know I held her yesterday, but it's still so... Strange."

"Some days it still seems strange to me too," he admits.

"But…" She can sense the hesitation in his voice. He can sense the skepticism in hers.

"I know. It takes some time to get used to being a parent. It's not something that came easy to either of us, and it's just strange now to realize how much our lives have changed. They've changed in a good way of course, but it's different."

"How long has it been since we've been to MacLaren's?" She's afraid to know the answer. Really, she's kicking herself for her lack of filter right now. She wants to blame Barney for that, but she knows it is because she's comfortable.

"I don't know," he answers with a shrug. "A couple of months maybe?"

"Oh God." That scares her more than she has been since he first told her that she lived here. She can't imagine a world without MacLaren's in it. It seems so foreign.

"You don't miss it. Well, you didn't use to miss it," he adds somberly. "It's much more fun to stay at home with this one anyways," he says in a baby talk voice, tickling Brianna's stomach. She smiles at them, and Robin guesses she can see why.

"So how soon do we have to meet the gang?" she asks after watching Barney interact with the baby. He turns over to check the clock before answering.

"We should leave in an hour and a half. We decided to go a little later to give Ted and Tracy time to get here."

"They don't live in the city?" she asks? That's pretty weird for her too. Ted is a fixture in the apartment she's begun to think of as a second home.

"No, they're in White Plains."

"Wow. They moved out of the city."

"Yeah, they did," he shakes his head, before realizing she remembers nothing of the whole house fiasco. "Ted actually bought the house before he even met her," he adds with a laugh.

"Oh, Ted," she groans with a giggle. Of course Ted would do something like that with his belief in destiny and all that.

"Oh yeah, it was horrible!" he exclaims dramatically. "A dump. The inspector fell through the ceiling during the inspection."

"Oh, god."

"Yeah…" he trails off.

"So Ted's still Ted?"

"Yep. Still very much Ted."

"I feel like I need to get up," she declares. She doesn't know what it is, but right now, she feels if she stays in bed another minute, her skin is going to crawl.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know," she answers. She can't explain it at all. "It's weird. I normally love staying in bed, but I just don't want to be here." She sees the pained look on his face and corrects herself. That's not what she meant. "It's not you, or Brianna, it's just this bed. And that's not even what I mean. It's comfortable. I just feel like… I don't even know how to describe it. Like I've spent too much time in bed or something like that."

The thought of it pains him. If she only knew.

"Well, I was hoping to relax in bed with you a little bit more," he jokes, trying to distract himself from the sadness of her missing memories. She responds by reaching out to gently smack him. "What was that for?" he whines.

"I'm not quite ready for  _that_ yet." She doesn't know what she did that, especially when she sees the look on his face. After all, it is Barney. He makes those jokes, even when he doesn't mean them.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

She smiles, because she wants to thank him. Barney apologizing is so totally new, and it makes her feel even worse.

"Okay little one. I think it's time for breakfast," he coos at Brianna. "Are you okay with that?" he asks, directing his attention back to Robin.

"I kinda don't have a choice do I?" she moans.

"No, not really." She stares at Bri, still unsure of what to do. She's not ready yet, even though she knows it's something she has to do. "Please Robin," he encourages. "You can pick her up. You won't break her. Just put your hand under her head and she'll be fine."

Robin takes a deep breath, and does her best to pick her up. Surprisingly, it feels really natural.

"I'm holding her. With one hand," she says elatedly. "This is still terrifying."

"Look at it this way," Barney encourages. "You know how to hold her."

"I  _don't_ know how," she insists.

"You do know how," he insists right back. "Listen. You think you don't know how. Your brain doesn't remember, but trust me, your body does." She stares at him questioningly, not understanding what he means at all.

"I can tell by the way your hand is," he points out. "That's something you learned to do a few weeks ago. Your body remembers. Just trust yourself. Don't think, just do."

"Okay?" She's still skeptical.

"I'm serious Robin," he insists. "Think about something else and just pick her up and feed her. Your body will do it."

"I can't do that though. What can I think about? All I am going to think about is her."

"Tell me about your dream job," he offers. He's quite curious to know what she will think about her career, and really, while he knows what she thought her career ambitions back then, he still didn't know for sure that she was telling him everything.

"That's not going to work."

"Just try it," he demands, starting to get frustrated.

"I've always said that my dream job is being a foreign correspondent."

"Really?" he asks curiously, playing along. He knew that at one point she had dreams of traveling for work. And while they did their fair share of traveling before Brianna, it wasn't the same for her, and he knew that.

"But it's not," she admits. "I've always wanted to be the lead anchor of a station. Not like Metro News One. Someplace big, like CNN or WWN. One of the big networks, you know? I mean, being a foreign correspondent would be fun, but I don't think I could leave our little group now."

"Hmmm," he mumbles to himself. "That actually explains a lot."

"What?"

"Why you turned down that job."

"What job did I turn down?"

"MSNBC contacted you about being a foreign correspondent."

She stares at him wide eyed in horror.

"I turned it down?" She can't believe that she wouldn't have taken something with MSNBC though. That's a million times better than Metro News One, even if it meant traveling.

"It surprised me too. I wanted you to take it, but you insisted you didn't want it."

"I didn't want it?" That thought confuses her so much. How could she not want a job with MSNBC? "I must have had an awesome job to turn that down."

"You're one of the lead evening anchors for World Wide News."

"Stop kidding around with me," she chides.

"I'm not kidding," he says seriously.

"Seriously?" She works for WWN? She's having one of those pinch me moments. That is so much better than a foreign correspondent job. "I work for World Wide News? That is like my dream job."

"I know. You just told me," he laughs.

"Wow. I really have my life together don't I?" she ponders aloud. It's a lot to take in, but it's an amazing lot to take in.

"So are you still as scared about being a mom now?" he asks. "You know, now that you know you still have a career?"

"No." She shakes her head. "No I'm not." She sighs in happiness, closing her eyes and taking it all in. When she opens her eyes, she notices that Bri is feeding. She has no idea how she got there. "How did she get here?"

"You did it. I told you. Don't think about it. Just do it. It's nothing to be scared of."

She sighs again. Maybe this isn't half bad. She seems to have everything she could ever want. A husband who is hot, can rock her world, but genuinely cares about her, a baby that is beautiful beyond words, and her dream job. Maybe it isn't what she always said she wanted. Maybe it isn't the perfect two kids with the white picket fence in the suburbs where she's a stay at home mom that she thought she was wrong for not wanting. She wouldn't be happy in that life anyway. But she thinks that maybe this all makes sense. She feels happier than she has in a while, if not ever, and it doesn't scare her. There is no point for her not to be happy. There is no point in being scared. She has it all, and she decides that she's going to embrace it. This is it. This is her life.


	10. Brunch

"Hey guys!" Robin exclaims, walking in the door to the restaurant and spotting Lily . She immediately recognizes the restaurant as the one where they all went to when Ted's parents came to visit. Regardless, she's excited to see Lily and Marshall. It feels like forever since she's seen them.

"Hey!" Lily returns, throwing her arms around Robin in a huge hug. Meanwhile, Marshall walks out of the coat room with two high chairs.

"Hey Robin. Mind helping me get this set up?" he asks, knowing his wife's desire to speak to Barney alone.

Lily grabs Barney's wrist to stop him from following Robin and Marshall. The minute her hand makes contact, the dread runs through him. What could she have to talk to him about?

"Any luck with the memory?" she asks, seeming genuinely concerned for Robin's well-being.

"No," he bemoans. "She hasn't remembered anything." He sighs and Lily rubs his arm in sympathy. Of course Barney and Robin have to be the ones this happens to, as if they didn't already had enough problems on their road to happiness. "She is doing well getting used to everything though," he admits.

"And how are you doing?"

"I'm fine," he scoffs.

"Where's the poop?"

"There's no poop."

"No, there's poop. I can see it in your eyes."

Barney looks at Marvin hanging around her leg and back at Lily, telling her with his eyes that he doesn't want to get into all of it with his nephew here.

"Why don't you go into daddy?" she suggests, patting his back to send him off.

"Okay!" Marvin exclaims, running out of the lobby and into the restaurant. Once he's gone, Barney turns to Lily.

"I don't know how much longer I can do this," he admits glumly. "She's being amazing and I love her, but I can't deal with being the only one to hold everything together." Lily watches sadly as the tears start to well up in Barney's eyes. "I've basically been a single parent. She's still terrified to even hold her."

"She seems to be doing okay now," Lily points out, trying to comfort him. In all the years she's known Barney, he's only broken down to her a few times, and it's never been like this, and it's certainly not been in public.

"That's because she's still in the car seat. It's only been a day and I can't do it," he laments.

"What can Marshall and I do?"

"I don't know. I just want her back."

"I know." She pulls him into a hug and rubs his back, trying in vain to calm him down.

"Hey," Ted greets happily, as he walks in the door of the restaurant. He's carrying the car seat, and Tracy's not far behind with the rest of the baby gear.

"Hey," Lily and Barney return quietly.

"We weren't sure you were going to make it today," Tracy commiserates, noticing Barney's discomfort in their arrival. They can both see that they interrupted a moment.

"We're here," Barney responds. "All three of us." He tries to crack a smile, to stay positive, but this wasn't what this day was supposed to be, not at all.

"How's she doing?" Ted asks.

"She's doing just fine," he answers, calming himself down and pretending nothing's wrong in the process. "She's nervous and terrified, but she's making through."

"Barney is the one not holding up so well," Lily adds, causing Barney to give her an evil glare.

"She's not going to remember you," Barney realizes.

"I know," Tracy responds. "Ted warned me." She pulls Barney into a hug. "I know she's in there somewhere though. You just need to give it some time."

"Thanks, Tracy."

* * *

"Ted and Tracy are running a little bit late," Marshall says, trying to break the silence between him and Robin. He tries to remember just when they bonded back in the day, but he can tell by her slight coldness that they she isn't to the breakthroughs of that one winter he can't quite remember.

"Oh okay," she responds, shrugging her shoulders. She watches him for a moment as he moves the high chairs around the table with help from the staff. "Marshall?"

"Yes?" He's curious as to what she is going to say.

"Is Tracy good?" she asks cautiously.

"What do you mean?" he questions.

"For Ted." She curious, because she wants Ted to be happy. She may be in 2015, but to her, she was still with Ted only a year ago. She really cares about him as a friend.

"She is," Marshall answers. He hopes that the smile on his face can imply to Robin just how much they all like her, and that it feels like she's always been a part of their group. "Why do you ask?"

"I don't know," she shrugs. "I'm just trying to get a sense of everything. Do I like her?"

"You do."

"And she doesn't mind that I'm an ex-girlfriend?" That's a fear she's had about being friends with Ted in the past few months. After all, that Carol girl a few months ago went crazy when she found out they dated. She figured that she would always scare the girls away.

"Nope. She can tell how much you love Barney," he replies. "Are you nervous?" he asks curiously. He can tell that something's up.

"No." He can tell from the high pitch of her voice that she's lying, and does his best sassy Marshall and raises his eyebrows accordingly. "Okay," she admits. "Yes. I'm nervous. I have no idea what to expect out of anything today. So much has changed from what I know. I'm a mom for crying out loud."

"I know a lot seems different, but it's a good different," he explains.

"I know," she sighs. She does agree. It was scary at first, but everything she's fallen in love with about her life in the past day has been a good different. "Marshall?"

"Yes?"

"What do I do with the car seat?"

"It goes right on top of the high chair," he chuckles to himself and explains with the straightest face possible. He'd forgotten just how clueless Robin used to be about babies.

"Oh," she mutters.

"Auntie Wobin!" Marvin calls as he toddles in the room. She looks at him with part panic and part sadness. She realizes how adorable he is; the perfect combination of Lily and Marshall. "What's wong?" he asks, sensing a new hesitation to her that he's never seen before.

She freezes in panic. She can barely understand what he is saying, but the way he looks at her makes her want to do something. He's just an innocent child, and has no idea what is going on. She can deal with the baby. Truly. She can. But he is his own little person. She can't pretend with him the way she can with Bri. He's too young to understand what is going on.

"Aunt Robin is having a little bit of trouble remembering things," Marshall explains as Marvin hugs Robin's leg.

"Like how mommy fowgets stuff?"

"Exactly," Marshall agrees as he pats him on the head. "Like when mommy forgets her keys." He looks at Robin and mouths 'Pregnancy brain.'

Robin nods, trying to understand, but really, she has no idea. She's never heard of pregnancy brain.

"You fowget yoah keys Auntie Wobin?"

"It's not quite like that, Marvin," Robin tries to explain, looking at the small child. She sits down next to Brianna's high chair, and Marshall nods at her in encouragement. He's proud of her for trying. He never knew this Robin could do this.

"Aunt Robin doesn't remember things that happened," Marshall adds.

"Oh," Marvin squeaks, while climbing onto Robin's lap. It slightly unnerves her. "Wemember when we went to the zoo?"

"No, Marvin, I don't," Robin answers with tears in her eyes. For some reason, this is breaking her heart.

"That was fun," he happily remembers. "Can I say hi to baby Bwi?" he asks, on to his next thought. It makes her laugh through her tears, because it's adorable.

"Yes, little man," Marshall answers for Robin.

Robin becomes even more nervous when Marvin leans forward in her lap and reaches out to touch the baby. She almost panics and draws him away, but he goes so slowly, touches her cheek and whispers hi. She wonders when she got to be so overprotective, so mother like.

"Hey!" Ted announces, walking in to join them at the table.

"Baby Penny's hewe!" Marvin shouts as he jumps off of Robin's lap.

"Yes she is little man!" Ted answers.

"Hi," Robin greets meekly, realizing the presence of the petite brunette behind Ted, followed by Barney and Lily.

"Hi," Ted answers, and steps aside to reveal the woman holding a car seat. "This is Tracy."

"Hi Robin," she says sweetly, extending her free hand with a peaceful smile on her face. It's strikes Robin that she's not the typical hot girl that Ted tries to make it work with. She seems very down to earth and homely, but it a good way, in a way that Ted needs.

"Hi," Robin responds. "It's nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too," Tracy returns.

"Why don't we sit down?" Marshall suggests.

The group takes their seats around the round table. Barney sits to Robin's right, with the high chair in between them. Marshall is to Robin's left, with Lily and Marvin next to him, and Tracy is to Barney's right, then Penny and Ted.

"I propose a toast," Ted declares as he picks up his prefilled mimosa glass. The rest of the group mimics him. "Last year, Mother's Day was a very different day. There were crazy wedding plans to be finished, and only one child in our little family. It's amazing how much a year can change things. We've welcomed Brianna and Penny, and there's one more on the way, and that couldn't be anything other than amazing. And we celebrate our moms, who went through so much in the past year. Especially you, Robin." She feels a bit awkward when everyone looks in her direction and smiles. "I wish you could know just how much of an accomplishment this moment is." Barney reaches over and squeezes Robin's knee, so that she can know how proud he is of her. "But we are going to celebrate it anyway. Happy Mother's Day."

"Happy Mother's Day," they chant in unison, before taking a sip of their drinks. There is a brief moment of silence before Tracy pipes up.

"Okay, who needs a changing?" They all sniff the air, and Robin can't help but think how ridiculous they all look. She wonders if it's some sort of weird induction into parenthood thing.

"It's definitely Brianna," Barney answers. "Give me a…"

"I can do it," Robin proclaims, standing up. Barney's mouth is agape. She's watched him change her, but she hasn't volunteered to do it yet. He's not sure that she knows how. And there is no way he can follow her into the ladies room to help.

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes. I saw you do it this morning. I think I can handle it." She throws the diaper bag over her shoulder, confidently picks Bri up out of the seat, and makes her way to the bathroom.

"Can…" Barney starts to speak.

"I'm on it!" Tracy shouts, jumping out of her chair and scurrying along behind Robin.

"So how was last night?" Lily asks once Robin and Tracy are in the bathroom. "Did you have a good time?"

"Yeah," Barney answers dreamily. "Thanks for keeping her again."

"It's no problem," Marshall dismisses. "She's such a happy baby."

"She really is," Barney replies, smiling happily.

"So what did you do?" Ted asks.

"We actually went on a superdate."

"Awwww!" Lily exclaims. "That's so sweet!"

"Did she like it?" Marshall questions excitedly.

"She did," Barney replies. "Especially when we got home later. What up!" He raises his hand towards Marshall for a high five, but Lily smacks him on the side of the head. "Owwww!" he whines. "What was that for?"

"Please tell me you are joking," Lily derides. She looks at the expression on his face, and starts to get angry. "You're not joking, you had sex with her!"

"Don't hit me again!" Barney winces. "Why is it such a big deal?" He looks to Marshall, who looks slightly uncomfortable, like he's not going to help him out, and Ted, who looks just as mad as Lily.

"I shouldn't need to tell you why this is a big deal," Lily chastises. "She's in a vulnerable place."

"Contrary to popular belief, I didn't take advantage."

"Come on Barney," Ted groans.

"I didn't! I swear!" Barney defends. It wasn't like that at all. Robin came on to him. Of course, they still didn't know that Robin came onto him the night of the sandcastles incident, and the night of the cheating incident. She's always been the one to start things, but of course, they always see her as the innocent one, an idea that's always confused him, since she's the least innocent person he knows. And even so, he's not the same person he was seven years ago. They should know that. "I don't understand why you three think that I never change."

* * *

"You look confused," Tracy says, finding Robin in the bathroom, staring at Brianna on the changing table.

"Oh, hi," she replies, as friendly as she possibly can to someone she just met. "No. I'm just fine."

Tracy laughs and shakes her head. "Honey, you're not fine."

"No, I'm fine," Robin insists.

"You don't even have her laying on the changer right."

"Oh," Robin mutters. Maybe she's more clueless on this than she thought she was.

"Are you sure you don't want some help?" Tracy asks.

"Please?" Robin asks desperately. She's realized not going to be able to do this on her own, and asking Tracy is better than going back and admitting it to the rest of the group. Tracy chuckles slightly at her admission.

"We need wipes, a diaper, and the changing pad," Tracy instructs.

"Ummm, I think they are all in here," Robin responds, as she points to the diaper bag. She pulls them out and puts them on the changing table, while Tracy is busy entertaining the baby. Robin stares at Tracy waiting for her next instructions. She spreads out the changing pad, and Tracy lays Brianna down.

"Now you have to take the old diaper off."

"Ohhh… Um…" Okay. She thought she could do this. She wants to do this, to prove to everyone that she can be a mom. But it's not working. Not at all.

"You can do it," Tracy encourages. Robin looks away skeptically. She's not at the point to let someone she's known for a minute give her advice. "Robin, look, I know you don't know me, but can I tell you that you are an amazing mom?" Robin rolls her eyes. Everyone keeps telling her that, but she can't even change her daughter's diaper. This is why she never wanted to have kids in the first place. "Don't give me that look," Tracy scolds. "You are. I know you are from this different world that I don't even know about, but you want to know what I know of you?" Robin nods. "You are a woman deeply in love with your husband and extremely devoted to your daughter. You love her as much as a mother can love her daughter. I know you don't understand it, but I don't even know a time when you and Barney weren't crazy in love. Everything I know about you, I know with him as your other half. And I know that Ted says you never believed in soul mates or miracles or anything like that, but I know for a fact you do now."

Robin sighs. "Okay." She doesn't know what it is about Tracy, or why she resigns herself to this truth, but she does.

She holds her breath, and takes the diaper off, gagging slightly. Tracy takes the diaper from her and folds it up.

"Now take a wipe..."

"I've got this part." She feels slightly more confident now. She remembers watching Barney do this part, and now that she's gotten over the hurdle, it feels like she knows what she's doing. The problem is, feeling like she's knows what she's doing, gets her thinking, and thinking gets her spewing out her feeling in a restaurant bathroom to someone she's known for five minutes.

"I don't know how I feel," Robin admits, feeling it all want to flow out of her. "I want to remember what it was like. I want to remember everything," she laments. "I feel so lost, and yet, I'm happier than I ever remember being. But Barney, I can tell that Barney is not himself. Barney is different. And not in the he's being sweet and caring way. Yes, that side is surprising, but he just seems so sad right now. I've been thinking about it, and I've seen the sweet side of Barney, even if just briefly, but I've never seen him sad. I've never seen him reserved in this way. And I want to make it stop. I care about him. He's been such a good friend to me in the three years I've known him, and I want to make him happy, even when it scares me."

"Why does it scare you?" Tracy asks. She wants Robin to keep opening up, because she's never gotten Robin to talk this much.

"I don't know how to let someone get close to me. And I know this is all real, and more than likely not a dream, but I don't know how to do it. I want to make it all work, but I don't know how to do it."

"You just have to take it one step at a time," Tracy exclaims calmly, putting her arm on Robin's shoulder.

"But I don't know how to take the steps!" Robin shouts.

"You do. I know you. Things are scary sometimes, but sometimes you just have to take three deep breaths and take the leap. Plus look- you just changed her." She looks down at the baby, and realizes that Tracy is right. She put a diaper back on her and dressed her back up without even realizing it.

"I did," she utters, still stunned. "I wasn't even thinking about it. How did I…?"

"You just did what came naturally. That's all you have to do. Do what feels right."

She thinks back on last night, and that moment she pulled him close when she would have pushed anyone else away. It was scary as hell, but it was what felt right at the time, so she did it. It makes her see that she can do this.

"I think I can do that."

* * *

"I'm not getting into this here," Barney insists, glaring at them all.

"Don't you understand how wrong this is?" Lily derides glaring at Barney. He wants out of this conversation so much. She's almost at her you're dead to me glare.

"Last time I checked, she is my wife, the mother of my child and a consenting adult," he fights back. "You can't tell me what I can and can't do with her."

"But she doesn't…"

"No. No. I'm not listening to this. I did nothing wrong. She came onto me."

"Why do I not believe you…"

"What don't you believe?" Robin asks, coming back to the table with Tracy and the baby.

"Ummm, nothing," Barney responds.

"There's nothing wrong," Lily adds.

"Okay," she shrugs off. She can tell that something happened while she was gone, but they both seem so eager to change the subject, that she figures it's best to let it go for now. "She's changed and happy."

"And Robin did it all by herself," Tracy adds proudly, celebrating the accomplishment.

"I'm proud of you," Barney says sweetly, a happy smile covering his face. The phrase makes her heart flutter in a way she knows it shouldn't.

"Thank you."

"So Robin? Are you okay?" Lily asks, hoping to maybe get some dirt out of Robin.

"Yeah. I'm good," she responds with a smile similar to that of what Barney just gave her. And she's not lying. She is good. She hasn't felt like this in ages.

"See, I told you, everything is just fine," Barney remarks, glaring at Lily, a bit of sarcasm and mockery in his voice.

"What is going on?" Robin pries. She doesn't want the conversation to go on like this. "There is something you all aren't telling me, and I don't like it."

"I don't know either," Tracy agrees. "Stop with the guilty looks," she scolds the four that had been left at the table.

"As I said before, we are not going to talk about it," Barney insists.

"So how us Barney treating you?" Marshall asks after a moment passes. Barney rolls his eyes. They never seem to change.

"He's been a perfect gentleman," she answers. Her eyes meet with Barney's. There is something in the look they share that shuts up Lily, Ted, and Marshall. It's raw and it's sparking, but yet truthful. It occurs to Lily that it's the same look they shared on their wedding day.

"So, um, Tracy?" Robin asks, trying to shift the conversation off of herself. She's tired of the nosy friend phenomenon that happens often in their group. "I know that everyone else knows you, but I don't. What do you do?"

"Well, I finished up my graduate degree in Economics at Columbia almost… well, I guess two years ago now."

"Economics?" That sounds just about as boring as Ted would enjoy in a woman, but Tracy doesn't strike her as a boring kind of girl.

"Yeah, I want to end poverty. I actually just started doing research for a book."

"Wow, that's pretty cool."

"Oh, and my decision to go back to school is part of the reason I'm here." That comment leaves her curious. She doesn't understand the two things could possibly correct.

"How's that?"

"I was in one of Ted's classes." That comment opens her eyes wide. Ted's class?

"Ah, yes, the wrong classroom," Ted comments.

"You make such a great professor, Ted," Barney adds sarcastically.

"Professor? You're a professor?" Robin asks, stunned. It's so outlandish of an idea, until it hits her. "No, that actually makes perfect sense. Does this mean we don't have to listen to Ted's boring architecture stories anymore?"

"No," everyone except Ted groans in unison.

"Geeze, sorry I asked," she Robin. "Don't start Ted," she warns. "How about you guys?" she asks, looking towards Marshall and Lily. "What's up with you? Any crazy career moves? Any luck with the NRDC?"

"No, not quite," Marshall mutters.

"I'm sorry Marshall," Robin apologizes. She didn't mean to bring up a sore subject.

"Nah, it's okay. Marshall's a judge," Lily bubbles, gleaming with glee.

"I actually just tried a case with the NRDC this past week." She's stunned. "That's amazing." It's great to know that her friends are happy.

"Congrats Marshall."

"Thanks."

"And how about you Lily? Still teaching kindergarten?"

"Nope," Lily announces proudly. "I'm an art consultant for the van Smoots. And I get to paint a little bit on the side."

"Yeah, and Lily, Marshall, and Marvin actually spent a year in Rome because of it," Ted comments.

"That's amazing," she utters in disbelief. She can't even begin to wrap her head around the implications of that. And on top of it, everyone is so different, so settled. "I guess we've all changed a lot."

"Yeah, that's an understatement," Barney jokes.

"And we are all parents," she realizes. The five of them, the ones she remembers from a few days ago sitting in the bar and hanging out until the wee hours of the morning, they all have children. They all have young lives depending on them. They can't possibly be grown up enough for that.

"Yeah… We are," Lily says proudly. "I bet none of us back from your time would have believed this could ever be possible."

"I still don't think it's possible," Robin comments. She doesn't. It all seems too good to be true in a way. They can't possibly all be this happy. Life doesn't work quite like that. "And yet, here we are."


	11. A Walk in the Park

"So, it's one o'clock," Robin comments as they finally walk away from the restaurant, having said goodbye to the rest of the gang and watching them drive off in their cars. "What are we going to do for the rest of the day?"

"It's a beautiful day. Want to go for a walk in the park?" Barney suggests.

"That sounds lovely," Robin agrees. It's been forever since she's been to Central Park, and they aren't far away at all. In fact, she can already see the trees.

It's a short, but quiet walk, as Barney pushes the stroller, and she follows along aside of them.

"What happened with the gang earlier?" Robin finally has the courage to ask once they are in the relative privacy of the park.

"I don't want to talk about it," Barney scoffs.

"But?"

"They just irritated me," he grumbles, clearly agitated.

"Why?" she questions. She apparently missed something, and whatever it was, it struck more of a nerve than she had first thought. He sighs and shakes his head, his steps suddenly slower.

"Sometime I feel like they don't treat me like a person," he admits sadly. The somber tone of his voice pulls at her heartstrings in a way she wishes it wouldn't. "They don't want to acknowledge that I've changed. They want to think that I am still the same person you know, and I'm not."

"No," she answers sympathetically, rubbing his arm. "You are certainly not. It's pretty easy to see you've changed." And it is easy to see. He's not the same person she knows, well at least not in the bad ways.

"Even a few days ago, only you and Tracy would stick up for me on everything," he laments.

"I'm sorry."

"No. Don't be sorry." He doesn't want it to be her fault. It's not her fault at all, even though it's her memory that started these feeling in the gang and in him again. "I just wish they would realize that my past isn't who I am anymore." She can tell he still isn't telling her everything, that he's hiding something important.

"You know you don't have to hide things from me just because you think that I won't understand them." He stares at her for a moment, questioning whether or not he should even bring any of this up. But she's absolutely right. She will understand, and if it weren't for the circumstances he would tell her instantly.

"They were upset because I told them we had sex."

"What?!" she exclaims in shock. She's not upset that he told them, but they don't get to be upset. Not in this world. They are married in this world. She can have as much amazing sex with him as she wants. If she wanted their condescension, she could have had sex with him a long time ago.

"They somehow seem to think that I took advantage of you."

"You didn't take advantage of me," she laughs in derision. "Seriously, what is with them?"

"I know," he agrees. He knows that she came onto him, and that he actually turned her down at first. "It doesn't seem to change what they think."

"And why shouldn't it? I was just as big of a part of it as you were."

"They tend to think you are some innocent girl that needs to be protected." The minute the words 'innocent girl' leave his lips, she rolls her eyes and groans.

"Do they even know me?"

"Apparently not," he laughs. "I think it's because of your memories, though."

"What do you mean?" Now she's curious. What do her memories have to do with the gang?

"Well, they have a different idea of your feelings in 2008."

"They do?"

"Yes. They don't know what it was really like between us back then," he replies, looking at her intently. She knows they are both thinking about the same things; those nights alone at the bar, the times they almost kissed, their thoughts about each other. "We both wanted each other. They seem to think that you were innocent back then, but I know you weren't." The way he growls the words, the way he looks at her makes her slightly uncomfortable, and yet, turned on.

"How do you know that?"

"You told me."

"Oh." She reckons that makes sense. They are married. They more than likely would have discussed their past feelings for each other.

"Ted still seems to think that you are some princess needing to be rescued," he adds offhandedly.

"Oh, for crying out loud," she grumbles. She can't believe that after what is supposedly ten years, he is still treating her the same way. "He's always going to be like this isn't he? That he thinks he has some sort of claim over me?"

"I wish I could say no," he answers, shaking his head, thinking back to the week of their wedding, and all that Ted tried to pull. "If only this is the worst that it ever was."

"Does it bother you that he acts like that?" she pries, although, she doesn't realize she's hit another nerve until he tenses. He almost stops walking, as if pondering how he wants to answer, before he continues their stroll.

"Yes," he says simply, because it does. It bothers him to no end. The problem is, he knows that no matter what he does, he isn't going to change Ted. He either has to accept it, and move on, or open up a huge can of worms, and that's not something he's willing to do.

"Why don't you say anything about it?"

"We've kind of agreed to ignore it. I don't get upset about it, and he hides his feelings."

"Oh." She doesn't like the sound of that. How can they just choose to accept that Ted has feelings for her? It seems to wrong to her, like there is a whole lot more to this story, probably that she is better off not knowing.

"Turns out that since you are now from a, quote," he says, stopping the stroller to make the appropriate hand gestures, "different time period, that rule went out the window." He's ready to keep talking, when he realizes that Robin stopped a good ten feet back from where he continued on. "What?" he asks, wondering what she could have stopped for, especially since she seems to be staring off into space.

"I haven't been here for years," she mutters. The memories of her first trip to New York come flooding back. She hasn't thought about that trip in years, or the significance of it. She remembers sneaking off from her dad to bury her grandmother's locket just a few feet from here. She remembers it quite clearly now. But she has a flash of something else too. Of rain, of the ground being dug up, a spade lying in the grass. But as quick as it comes, it's gone, and all she is left with is her dad.

"The park?" he questions skeptically. He knows that she likes the park. She's been here plenty of times with him in the past few years.

"No, this spot," she answers breathily. She's still not all with it, still lost in her memories. That's when it clicks for him. She's standing at the exact same spot that he was that day in the rain. She's remembering her locket. But it dawns on him that she doesn't remember spending hours trying to digging it up. She doesn't remember how it showed up at their wedding. She just remembers burying it on that horrible trip with her father.

"You haven't been here since you buried it have you?" he asks, walking back towards her with the stroller.

"No," she mumbles, before turning to look at him curiously. "You know about that?"

"I do." He smiles at her sweetly, and she can't help but feel so loved.

"So I wore it for our wedding?"

"Yes," he answers, and her smile lights up her face and makes her eyes sparkle in the way she loves. "You seem happy about that."

"I haven't thought about that locket in forever," she admits. She really hadn't. She buried it all those years ago, and kinda forgot about it. She moved on with her life and away from her dad not long after that, and her mom's cynicism took the idea of getting married right out of her. But if she wore it for her wedding to Barney, it must be one of those signs that Ted is always talking about. "It makes me happy that I actually found it. Like what are the chances that it was there after all those years?"

"I don't know," he replies cagily. "You had it, that's all that matters."

"You seem…" she pauses. She can't quite put her finger on what is wrong and why he is acting the way he is. "...upset about it."

"I'm not upset," he brushes off, but she can tell. He's acting almost the same way he did earlier when he didn't want to tell her what happened at brunch.

"You are upset," she pushes.

"Maybe we should go see some emperor penguins at the zoo," he suggests.

"Emperor Penguins… Do you know that male and female emperor penguins bow to each other?"

"Yes. Ooh, look! It's the ice cream stand! Can I interest you in a butterscotch sundae?"

"That actually sounds wonderful," she answers, not noticing that she's been thrown off on purpose. "It's been a long time since I've had butterscotch."

* * *

"So what were we talking about?" she asks, ice cream dish in hand, as they continue walking away from the carousel.

"How nice of a day it is today?" Barney offers. He definitely wants her to let the locket topic go. He can tell her at some point, but he doesn't want to get into anything heavy again today.

"That's true. It's a little too warm for my taste."

"Of course it is," he chuckles. Leave it to the Canadian to call it too warm.

"You know you are the only one that didn't tell me about your job you know." It's one of the other questions at brunch she wanted to know the answer to. She's always wondered just what he does for a living. Everyone else's careers are so clear, but his has always been an enigma.

"I didn't?"

"Nope," she replies. "Not that I knew what you did before."

"Come on, Robin, please," he brushes off. He's a little glad that she didn't ask in front of the gang. It would have been a little anti-climactic. Someday, he'll explain the old joke to her too, when she's little more calm, since her original reaction was less than spectacular.

"See, why do you always have to say please?" she groans, before taking another scoop of ice cream, and licking it off her spoon. He can't help but wonder why she has to be so sexy when she does that.

"Because I do," he explains. "But I will tell you about my job now, if you want to know," he offers. She nods in response, because her ice cream spoon is still in her mouth. "I'm one of the senior executives in the finance department at GNB."

"GNB?" she asks, raising an eyebrow. "Isn't that that new bank? Why did you leave Altrucell?" He smiles briefly at his stupidity. She doesn't even know that she works for GNB yet.

"I didn't technically leave Altrucell," he explains as best as he can. "They acquired GNB, and I was transferred into their division."

"So that's been your position all along?"

"Please, Robin," he teases. "No, I just got transferred to the finance department not too long after we married. The department I used to work in was involved in a shutdown." He conveniently decides to leave out the part that he was the one that caused the shutdown, and that he was the FBI informant. "But it doesn't matter too much right now," he brushes off. "I'm going on a sabbatical in the next few weeks."

"What for?"

"To stay at home with this little one," he says with a chuckle, leaning down to tickle Brianna.

"You mean to tell me that you are a stay at home dad?" she asks in shock.

"Not yet, but I will be."

"But why?"

"Because I wanted to," he explains happily. "Plus, we couldn't find a suitable nanny, so, uh, one of us had to stay home."

"But doesn't the mom normally get stuck with that?" He stares at her in confusion. She really did have such a skewed view of parenthood back then, but he guesses he can't blame her. She knows nothing about children.

"Well, I guess you could look at it that way," he answers, before turning his voice to serious. "Look, I always loved my job, but it's not my life. Your career is so much more important than mine, and you have so much potential." She can't help but stare. It's unnerving, still, to hear him talk about her in that way, like she's the most important person in the world. It's hard to comprehend. No one has ever let her be her before. "I wasn't kidding earlier when I said you have it all."

She sighs, just wondering how it can all be so perfect. "Am I still on maternity leave?"

"Yes."

"How soon do I go back to work?"

"Two weeks." She pauses, just taking it all in, taking one of the last bites of her ice cream.

"I just can't imagine it," she mumbles.

"What?"

"You being a stay at home dad."

"Believe it," he boasts proudly. "Daddy's home."

"OH GOD!" she shouts, doubling over in laughter. "That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!" That phrase was always ridiculous, but now it's even worse.

"I knew that would make you laugh," he replies with a smile.

"Yeah, it doesn't sound any sexier now than it used too, even if you are a dad now. If anything, it's just wrong now."

"Yeah, it kinda has lost its meaning," he agrees. "Oh well. Not that I really need a pick-up line anymore. I've got you now." He's done it again, turned it from fun, to shockingly sweet. Yet, she still loves the feeling. It's certainly better than the ice cream, which she now realizes is empty. She sees a trash can up ahead, and throws away her empty dish.

"Do you think maybe I could carry her?" she asks suddenly. She doesn't know what came over her, but she does want to try this. She feels the need to be close to her daughter.

"You want to carry her?" he questions. Just a day ago, he couldn't even get her to pick up the baby, so needless to say, he is surprised.

"Yes."

"You know she gets heavy after a while," he tells her. "Especially if she falls asleep."

"I want to hold her," she insists.

"Okay," he agrees. He's not too worried about anything happening to Bri, but at the same time, her knowledge isn't what it should be. Yet, she's trying so hard, and he's ecstatic about that.

She reaches in the stroller, unbuckles the baby, and picks her up. It takes her a moment to get her situated in her arms in a way that she is comfortable, but she finally gets Bri's head settled in the crook of her arm and starts walking.

"Why are you smiling?" she asks.

"This just makes me happy, seeing you with her."

"I can tell." She realizes that she should probably tell him all the things she told Tracy. She needs him to know that she is still on his side. "I just want you to know that I'm going to try," she starts off uncertainly. "I don't want you to be alone in this. You are my best friend. If there is anyone in the world I would want to be a parent with, it's you. I know how hard you've been working, and it's really unfair to you."

"I love you," he blurts out in response. He looks at her with such passion that it scares her. She feels a bit awkward, since she's nowhere near ready to say it back.

"I know," she sighs. "I don't want I rush things with us though. I'm going to need time to get used to things. But I'm going to try. For you, I'm going to try."

"You don't have to say it back," he stops her, grabbing her shoulders, and making her look him in the eyes. He wants her to know how serious he is. "I get it. Take your time. I know it's hard for you. And just hearing you say you are going to try is all I really need to hear right now."

"Thank you," she says, tears starting to form in her eyes.

"Of course, Scherbatsky."

They take a few more steps in silence, recovering from the emotional outburst.

"I do have one more questions for you," Robin blurts out.

"What's that?"

"What did Ted mean earlier?" It's been on her mind since brunch as well. It made no sense to her why it was much more of an accomplishment for her than for anyone else. She figured it was just because she never wanted to have kids, but she wasn't going to ask at the time. She knows better than to interrupt Ted.

"What do you mean?"

"He said something about how much of an accomplishment this moment really is. What did he mean by that?"

Barney sighs. It's just another place he didn't want to go with her today. Frankly, he would rather her forget her bed rest altogether. It was such a hard time for her, and the more pain he can keep from her, at least for right now, the better. He doesn't want to overwhelm her, especially while she is holding the baby.

"You had a really hard pregnancy, a lot of complications," he answers as vaguely as possible.

"Oh," she replies. It isn't quite what she wants to hear. She wants to know what was hard, what was complicated.

"Anything bad?"

"No, just harder than normal." He's still hiding something, she can tell, but she figures that maybe he doesn't want to get into it today.

"I guess it was worth it though, huh?" Robin glances down to see Brianna asleep in her arms.

"I guess so."

"I can't believe she can fall asleep with me carrying her like this."

"She's a baby. She can fall asleep almost anywhere, as long as she is in your arms."

She waits a moment before asking, "You think maybe we should get her home?"

"We can, but we don't have to."

"I think I want to," she answers. She'd like to get home to him alone now. "Plus, my arm is getting tired."

"Told ya," he chortles. "She may only be a tiny eleven pounds, but she's quite heavy."

"She's only eleven pounds?" she asks, stunned. She would have guessed she is much heavier. "Wow!"

"Yep."

A moment of silence passes between them, before she asks, "which way is home again?"

"I'll lead the way."


	12. A Lazy Sunday Afternoon

"So she's asleep," Barney announces when walking out of the nursery.

"She's asleep?" Robin questions yet again from the couch. She can scarcely believe that Brianna fell asleep that quickly. Yet again, she knows she has almost no knowledge of babies.

"Yep," he confirms, grinning at Robin.

"How long is she going to be asleep?"

"Maybe an hour, maybe two," he answers. "Depends on how long she actually slept in your arms."

"I don't know, a half an hour maybe?" Robin knows she was asleep for a while. But then again, time seemed to get away from her. She thought it was only around two when they had gotten back to his apartment, but it was actually four. All she knows is that Barney has been so incredibly sweet towards her the entire day, and she's quite ready to repay him for that.

"So she'll sleep for maybe an hour and a half if we are lucky."

"That's plenty of time," she drawls.

"For what?" Barney asks, raising his brow.

"For this." She instantly lunges forward and kisses him hard.

"Woah," he mumbles, pushing her away. "I just got yelled at for this." She stares at him, and realizes he's right. He was chastised by the gang at the restaurant. But yet again...

"And that's stopped you before?" she teases with a lustful purr.

"Point taken," he quickly agrees.

He pulls her close, trapping her lips between his, kissing her roughly, letting his hands roam her body. She's thoroughly enjoying it, until suddenly, he's backing away from her again.

"What?" she questions, confused as to why he's gone.

"If we are going to do this again, we are going to do it right this time," he answers, looking her straight in the eyes.

"We didn't do it right last time? It felt pretty right to me."

"It was right, wonderful actually, but it was like you expected, wasn't it?"

"Yeah," she replies. She's still lost.

"Well, this time, I'm going to show you what it's really like."

He slowly pulls her closer, cupping her face and kissing her. He wants to be romantic, to show her what it's really like on some of their nights together, to show her that they are about more than just sex.

He lazily brushes his hand down the side of her dress, making sure to linger at certain spots.

"Barney, what are you doing?" she questions, incredibly confused as to why he was acting like this.

"Just...okay?"

"But this isn't like you," she argues. "Or me for that matter."

"How do you know that? Have you ever tried it?" he asks, looking into her eyes again. The whole thing rattles her down to her core, makes her feel exposed. She has done this before, but it's never worked out. Slow has never been her thing. She's always wanted fast and hard.

"With Ted..." she manages to mumble, averting her gaze from him.

"And that counts how?" he insinuates with disdain. Ted was never what she needed. "Just let me show you."

He stands up from where they were sitting on the couch and reaches his hand out for her. She reluctantly puts her hand in his and he pulls her up to follow him.

He slowly leads her out of the living room and back the hallway towards the bedroom. His sweet smirk makes her feel a little more comfortable following him.

"Where are we going?"

"Shhhh!" he scolds jokingly. "You're gonna wake the baby."

He stops her outside the door of the nursery and kisses her, before leading her by her hips further through the doorway of the bedroom and into their bathroom. He nibbles at her neck and runs his hands back up her body. He reaches around to the back of her dress, and slowly pulls down her zipper. He slides the dress over her shoulders, and starts to massage her neck.

He spins her to face him and continues to rub her.

"Barney?" she mumbles quietly.

"Shhhhh," he replies. "Don't question it. Unless you want me to stop?"

She shakes her head. She doesn't want him to stop. She just wants to know why he's doing this.

He bends down to kiss her neck, and pushes the dress over her body, letting it fall on the cold tile floor. He continues to touch her, to rub his one hand all over her body while he uses the other to undo his buttons and tie. Soon, they too join her dress on the floor.

He opens the door to the shower, and guides her inside as he unbuckles his belt. He pushes off the rest of his clothes, letting them fall to the floor, and he steps out of them into the shower behind her. He turns on the water, kissing her gently, letting the cool water splash on his back, so that Robin out of the spray until he gets it to just the right temperature.

"I love you so much," he mutters in her ear. He lets his hands wander down her body, pulling off her bra and underwear. "And you are so sexy."

The sound of his voice makes her moan in delight. She never knew that those three words could sound so hot. She lets her head fall back, enjoying the way his hands are roaming over her body.

He pours shampoo in his hands, and starts to massage her scalp. It's not something she thought she would ever enjoy, letting a man take care of her like this, but right now she wants to soak it all in. It feels incredibly relaxing and soothing. Plus, it helps knowing that Barney isn't one of those guys that thinks she needs to be taken care of.

He washes her whole body in a similar way, even massaging her at points. He treats her like a temple, like a human who needs to relax, not like a woman who needs to have a man take care of her.

When it comes time for him to wash himself, she insists on having her hands be a part if the action too.

He guides her out of the shower, wraps one of their plush towels around her, and lets her dry herself off, while he does the same. He then leads her back to the bed room, lays her down on the bed and continues to kiss her.

He grinds his body into hers, his erection bumping noticeably against her leg. The more they move, the more the towels between them move, and expose their naked bodies to each other.

She's still trying to wrap her head around how un-Barney the entire experience is. They are naked and making out, but even after a half hour now, it's still slow and gentle, and not at all frantic. She'd be just as happy if he'd fuck her into the next world like he did yesterday, but there is still something exciting about this. Even though it's slow and sensual, she's still more turned on than she's been with most anyone else.

Suddenly, Barney pulls away from her, and she can feel the loss. She misses his body desperately, more desperately than she could have imagined, and moans at the loss.

Barney is a bit surprised by the verbal outcry. He knows that this version of her claims to hate the whole idea of making love, but she's never done it before, either. He would have scoffed at the idea himself in 2008. She just doesn't know how addicting slow can be when you are head over heels for the other person.

He doesn't want to be away from her any more than she wants to be away from him, so he quickly unwraps the condom he pulled from the bedside drawer, rolls it on, and slides back on top of her.

He stares into her eyes, taking her all in. He kisses her slowly, and pulls away to looking into her eyes yet again. He reaches his hand down to slowly guide himself into her, never breaking the eye contact.

She's the first one to roll her eyes back as he reaches the full point inside her.

"Robin?"

"What?" She picks her head back up and focuses all her attention back on him, mostly to question why this had to stop.

"Look into my eyes," he says, his voice all lust and love.

"What?" she snaps, confused as to why he of all people wants to do this cheesy sex act.

"Look into my eyes. Don't look away," he purrs while brushing her cheek. "Look into my eyes."

She's a bit scared to agree, because she tried this with Ted once and it really didn't do anything for her, but he's not demanding. It's a small request from him, and she can tell that he's asking her, not forcing her. And she wants him to be happy. She doesn't want to ruin the moment, so she obliges. She looks him in the eyes.

She watches his eyes sparkle in pleasure as he slowly pulls almost all the way out of her, and pushes back in almost as slowly. He does it three more times, and she starts to feel a shiver crawl achingly up her spine.

This is nothing like that time with Ted.

He continues to lazily move in and out of her, but adds his hands in the mix, letting them roam up and down her body.

It's the hardest she's ever worked to keep her eyes open. His touches everywhere make her want to throw her head back in pleasure, close her eyes, and let the feelings consume her. But looking in his eyes, it makes her feel connected in an entirely different way. It makes parts if her body jump that have never jumped at sex before.

She begins to move her hips in turn, matching him with his deliberate thrusts. He begins to slightly pick up the pace, but it's nothing like what she wants or needs from him.

He can tell from her eyes that he has her exactly where he needs her to be. She needs more. Her eyes twinkle in delight and frustration, and she is trying her best to touch him, to make him move.

He doesn't fall for it though. He keeps the pace.

She almost feels like she's getting burned to her core, straight through her eyes. He makes her feel so different, so special, so... She can't even think of the right words to describe it. But she can feel the tingling all over her body, from her toes to fingertips.

He brushes his hands over her breasts, listening to the moans escaping from her lips. He gradually starts to pick up the pace, and is rewarded by the fire in her eyes.

She can feel it all build and get stronger, with the increase in speed. His eyes are still burning and the expression on his face, the one that wants her to be happy, is the thing that ends up pushing her over the edge.

He can't help but stare at her as she loses control underneath him. It's one of the most beautiful things to him, to watch the raw emotion on her face as she loses herself. Just a few more quick thrusts, and he's joining her, losing himself with her.

The first thing she can think of, when she finally regains her bearings, is wow. That was that cheesy "making love" thing that everyone always talks about. But it was far from cheesy. If that's what it's supposed to be like, her whole world might have just been turned on end. Even more so, because she did the whole cheesy thing with someone who hates those relationship things almost as much as she does.

He lingers on top of her, relishing the feeling of being together, of still being inside of her. He pulls her up for a hug and a chaste kiss. She locks her arm around his neck, keeping him with her for a little bit longer.

He rolls off of her, and instantly, as if on cue, Brianna starts to scream. He groans loudly, and Robin smiles, not quite understanding the joke behind her frequent interruptions.

"Do you want me to get her?" he asks.

"No, I can go get her. I mean she's probably hungry anyway, right?"

"Yeah," he agrees. "And, Robin?"

"Hmmm?"

"Can you bring her back with you?" He wants to have a little more family bonding. He's not quite ready to let Robin go back into the world of forgetfulness.

"Sure," she answers, smiling at him.

He watches her as she slips a robe on and walks out of the room. He lays back and relaxes. She's made an almost complete turnaround in the past few hours. He's happy. He guesses that he should have Tracy to thank for that. It seemed like their time in the bathroom together changed things. Even so, she may not exactly be his Robin, but she's at least making the attempt for him, and he really couldn't ask for much more.

He sits up in an attempt to find his underwear from where it was shed earlier. He's not successful, and rises to grab a new pair from the drawer, managing to slip of the condom and slip them on the moment that she walks back in the room with Brianna in her arms.

"She's hungry right?" she asks while sitting back down on her side of the bed. He can't tell for sure, and she's no longer crying, but it is close to her normal feeding time.

"Probably," he answers. "She normally eats around six, and it's already five-thirty."

Robin looks at the clock, and realizes just how fast this day has gone. Her mind goes straight to the clichéd, time flies when you are having fun, phrase, and she immediately wants to kick herself. She hates phrases like that. They remind her so much of Ted.

When she's finally drawn out of her thoughts, she realizes that she's started feeding Bri again without thinking about it. She looks at Barney, who's watching the baby intently, with a loving look in his eyes. For as long as she's known him, he's never wanted to be a father, but when she looks at him right now, she can tell he's just as smitten as she's become. They did make one beautiful baby.

"Thank you," she says sweetly, drawing his attention back towards her.

"For what?"

"For her. For the shower. For the sex. Just everything," she rambles.

He smirks at her, and answers simply, "Any time."

* * *

A half an hour later, the adults have gotten dressed and have moved to the living room. Bri is fed, happy, and lying in her baby swing near the couch.

"I was thinking we'd order in for dinner," Barney suggests while he gets two beers from the fridge and sits down on the couch with Robin, who is visibly distracted by the baby.

"Sounds good."

"Chinese good for you?" he asks, not wanting to get her something she isn't interested in.

"Yeah. Are you going to get the usual?" she asks, offhandedly, still paying attention to the baby.

"Ummm… yeah?" he asks, confusion filling his tone. That's something that she asks him all the time. Besides, how would she know what the usual is? "Do you even know what the usual is?"

"Yeah, we usually get lo mein, dumplings, pork fried rice, and General's shrimp," she rattles off without a thought.

"Say that again?" he questions, still confused.

"What?" she asks, finally looking up at him to try to understand why he is confused.

"The order."

"What order?"

"The food."

"What about it?"

"Say it again."

"I don't remember what I said."

"But you remembered before," he shouts, frustrated by the whole situation.

"I don't remember it now though." She sighs and throws herself back on the couch in irritation. She doesn't even remember responding to him.

The minute he shouted, he knew that he shouldn't have. He was just so frustrated he didn't know what to do. He takes a deep breath and massages his temple. Now that he's calm, he realizes what he should have realized before.

"You had a memory," he mumbles aloud, still coming to the realization himself.

"I did?" she questions, shocked. She's not quite sure if she can believe it.

"Yeah," he adds, starting to smile. He's beginning to get incredibly excited. She's getting her memory back. She coming back to him, to them.

"Really?"

"Yes," he says as he runs across the living room. "Here." He overly excitedly shoves their wedding album in her hands.

"Wha-" she tries to react.

"Flip through it. See if it jogs your memory," he says, bouncing anxiously on the couch next to her.

She allows herself to slowly leaf through the leather bound book, taking in each picture, while ignoring Barney as best as she can. She sees some beautiful pictures of the two of them in a church surrounded by their friends, and some other woman she doesn't recognize. She sees pictures of them at a lighthouse, pictures of them at a beach. But all of it brings nothing for her, nothing familiar at all. She's just as much of a stranger to these pictures as someone who wasn't at the wedding.

"I'm sorry. It doesn't," she replies sadly to a hopeful Barney. She watches as his face falls, saddened by her answer. She can't stand to see him upset, so she adds, "They're beautiful though. A beach wedding?"

"Well, it wasn't  _on_  the beach, but the beach location was kind of Ted's idea."

"Hmmm," she hums, a bit of sarcasm in her tone.

"What?" he defends. "We both know he's part girl."

A smile takes over her face. "You're absolutely right," she giggles. He never seems to fail to put her in a better mood.

"So nothing?" he asks, when she's done laughing.

"No. I'm really sorry."

"Don't be," he brushes off, sadly. "I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up."

"Don't say that," she tries to remind him. "I'm remembering some things."

"I know. It's just..." he pauses and rubs his forehead. "This sucks. I never get the happy ending, no matter what I do."

"Come on Barney, you know that's not true. You have us, you have great friends, and even both of your parents are in your life and you have two step parents. You seem like you have the happily ever after to me." He stares at her. He doesn't remember telling her about half of that. He did tell her he knew who his dad is, but that's about it.

"Did I tell you that? About Sam?"

"No," she replies. She doesn't remember him saying anything about a Sam.

"Who's Sam?" he asks, trying to trip her up.

"Loretta's husband," she answers with a clear resolve.

"Who's Loretta?"

"Your mom." She still sees him staring dumbfounded at her. "What? Stop staring at me!" He wishes she could understand just how important all of this is.

"Robin, you didn't meet my mom until 2009," he informs. "And my mom didn't marry Sam until last year. We didn't even know they were together until 2013."

"Oh," she mutters, understanding just what this all means. She had another memory. It makes her wonder just how many she's been having and she didn't even know. "Wow."

"Yeah," he agrees. He doesn't know how to react this time. The last thing he wants to do is get excited this time. They sit in silence for a moment, deciding if they want to let the elephant in the room stay there.

"I guess we kinda have to let this memory thing run its course, huh?" Robin finally addresses.

"I guess so," he agrees, because she's right. Apparently, they can't rush them. They have to come on their own. At least he knows that she's getting them back.

"It's May right?" she asks, changing the subject.

"Yeah."

"So the hockey playoffs are on?"

"Yeah. The last, like six, games are on the DVR," he bemoans. Since she moved in with him, the device had been mostly taken over by hockey during the winter months.

"DVR?"

"Sorry. It's like the generic name for the TiVo."

"Oh. Who's playing?"

"Don't know. I didn't look."

"It doesn't matter," she shrugs. "Game's still a game."

He reaches for the remote and turns on TV. The overly bright light fills up the room, making them both squint a bit.

"I wish I could watch hockey like this all the time," she thinks aloud.

"You can, and you do," Barney says with a chuckle. His chuckle deepens when he sees the look on her face at the reality of that.

"Oh my god, I can!" she says excitedly, and turns her attention to the game.

Barney sits directly next to her for the entirety of the game. He's still not hockey's biggest fan, but he does love sharing the time with her. It's worth it to him to just get to see her enjoying what she loves.

But the most amazing thing to him is watching her take Bri out of her swing and in to her arms to teach her about hockey. It may have been absurd, since she is only 10 weeks old, but it was adorable nonetheless, and exactly the kind of mothering he'd expect from her. He's honestly surprised it's the first time she's doing it.

She's surprised by the fact that she isn't even to the end of the game yet, and she's exhausted. Her eyelids droop, and her brain floods with images that seem so real, and yet, so dreamlike.

Ridiculous images like Ted dying his hair blonde, singing with her old friend Jessica at a Canadian karaoke bar, racing her friends through the city. And yet, there were some more familiar: standing on the roof of the World Wide News building surrounded by rose petals and lanterns, digging holes in Central Park. Things that almost seem like memories to her. She's seen glimpses of them over the past few days. Memories are all that they really could be.

"Why don't we get you two to bed?"

She's startled out of her slumber, seeing Barney hovering near her. She realizes that she's still holding Brianna. Barney helps her up, and they walk the short distance to the nursery.

"You want me to put her down?" he asks, still cautious of not forcing her to do things.

"Nah. I got it."

"Alright." She's warmed by his smile, knowing that he knows she can do this. It's quite helpful.

She nods, and waits for him to leave, admiring the sleeping baby in her arms, not quite ready to put her down.

"Goodnight, baby girl. I never knew how much I could love you. You've taken over my heart already. I can't wait to spend more time with you." She kisses the baby's forehead and places her in the crib.

"Ready for bed?" She jumps around, startled to see Barney standing just outside the doorway. He heard every word she said and it warms his heart, but he doesn't bring it up, knowing how special that moment was between the two of them.

"Yeah. I think so." She lingers at the crib, not quite wanting to leave. She knows she'll be here tomorrow, but there is something that just makes Robin want to soak as much of her as she can in right now.

"I'll be in the bedroom when you are ready."

She turns and walks to the doorway, but she can't help but take one long, lingering look before she closes the door. She's still amazed by just how much bonding with the baby today has changed her. It's not scary like it was to her only yesterday. She doesn't have anything to run from and it feels amazing.

Barney is already in bed surfing the web on his phone when she gets into their bedroom. The phone is one of those things that reminds her she really is here, in this time, in the future.

She finishes her nighttime routine, or some semblance of it, and climbs into bed with Barney. She sighs loudly as her head hits the pillow.

"Good or bad?"

"What?"

"The sigh." It's just another sign to her of just how intuitive he is now.

"Good," she answers. "I feel happy."

He couldn't be happier to hear that. He's always been happy when she has been.

"I am happy you're happy."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

He puts his phone on the charger, switches off the light, and snuggles up next to her.

"Hey, Barney?"

"Hmmm?"

"I love you."

He sighs audibly.

"I love you too, Scherbatsky."

She's never felt more content in her life.


	13. Waking up

Robin can feel herself starting to wake up. It's not the abrupt startle out of bed that she's used to, with alarm clocks, or more recently the crying baby. It's the gradual consciousness that comes with a really good night's sleep. She's snuggled under the covers, warm and cozy, she certainly would love to stay here for a while longer.

She finds it crazy that she's already used to sharing a bed with Barney, after all, she's really only had two days to get used to the idea. Still, there is something comforting in know that he's there. Kinda like the security she used to feel with Ted, but in a completely different way. In a more loving way. He's not there to protect her, he's there to be with her. It's somehow one of the most amazing feelings she's had.

Even spending the day with Brianna yesterday was incredible. She realizes that even though she may not have those normal maternal instincts, like the need to smell the top of her head, she definitely feels a love for her that she never thought she could feel for a baby. She can't wait to wake up and see what today brings, even though she is incredibly comfortable.

But for the next few minutes, she wants to find the incredible man that she's gotten to know for the past few days, and soak him up. She rolls over to snuggle into him, but she doesn't find him. She figures he must be out getting Bri again like he did yesterday. She opens her eyes to check if she can see him down the hall, and the panic sets in.

It's gone. It's all gone. She's back in Brooklyn, back in her apartment, alone.

She's left staring out the double window, surrounded by red walls. It's a far cry from the glass door and grey walls she was expecting. She doesn't know what to think. Partially, she's relieved, but then again, everything she spent the past few days getting used to is gone. Barney's not her husband, not the father of her child, and he never will be. He's her womanizer friend who is just as afraid of relationships and children and I love you's that she is. Even if she would want all that with him, he's never going to want to settle down like that.

She turns to look at the clock and realizes that she only has five minutes till her alarm goes off. It would be the perfect amount of time to cuddle in his arms. But she remembers where she is and what she is doing, and she chastises herself for even thinking about that. She doesn't cuddle. Barney Stinson certainly doesn't cuddle.

She's left incredibly confused. What the hell was that dream about? None of it makes any sense. She's been thinking about Barney a lot lately, for sure, but why would she imagine herself being married to him? Or even more so, having a child with him? There has to be something more to it, but she has no idea what. Still, there isn't a single thing about it that makes any sense.

She wonders if she should tell Lily about the dream, or Ted even. After a few seconds she realizes just how stupid of an idea that would be. They will make fun of her for it, after all, her brain had to make it up somehow. It's not like there's anything behind the dream. She doesn't seem him as anything more than a friend. Or maybe a possible good time. Lily and Ted can't know about the possible good time part. She'd never hear the end of it. Or worse. They'd make such a big deal out of it that they would start pushing some sort of feelings on her, and that's the last thing she wants. She doesn't do feelings. Maybe in the dream she did. Maybe she fell for Barney. But it was a completely different, dream man version of him. And besides, who says I love you after two days? Certainly not her.

She finally stops the war in her head about the dream, throws the covers off, and climbs out of bed. She heads immediately to the shower, hoping to forget about the whole thing.

The problem is, she doesn't easily forget. The dream was so vivid, that it haunts her every waking minute for a few days, until she finally can't take it anymore. She finally spills the whole story to the makeup lady at work.

"You care about him don't you?" The woman asks after hearing Robin's recount of the story.

She rolls her eyes. This is the exact reason she didn't ask for any advice.

"No. No. No. He's just a friend. No. He'll always be just a friend."

"Whatever you say sweetie."

She huffs in frustration. She feels so stupid for even going there. The whole thing changes nothing for her. It was a weird dream about one of her friends. It's not like it made her feel new things about him, or suddenly change her mind about having kids. It's not like he would ever change. That happy feeling that she felt, it just doesn't happen in real life.

At that moment, she promises herself that she's never going to bring that dream up again, and she is going to just block it out of her mind. It's the last she mentions of the dream to anyone for years.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not the end. I promise. There will be an epilogue or two explaining the rest of the story.


	14. A Stupid, Stupid Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am really sorry this took so long. Not only is it a long chapter, I had a lot of life get in the way. I am moving very soon. Worse, I even had a good section done. And there is still another shorter chapter left to write, and hopefully I will have time to write it soon.

Robin keeps the promise to herself of not talking about the dream. The blocking it out of her memory part, well, that's easier said than done.

It's not that she comes on to Barney on purpose the night of her date with Simon. She does come on to him, but it isn't intentional. Her thought at the bar isn't that she is going to take him back to her place for sex. She is just going to show him the video and leave it at that. But the things he says and the way he acts, is just so sweet and un-Barney like, and he just makes her feel so special, in a déjà vu kind of way. It just happens from there. She doesn't want to stop it. She doesn't remember the dream, in the heat of the moment, but she knows that he makes her feel different.

It isn't until the next morning, when she is lying in bed awake, regretting her decisions from the night before, and waiting for him to wake up, that it hits her. It hits her why this all matters. It is the dream. It happened the way he said it would in the dream. It's a month later, right before Ted's birthday, and they had sex. She wants to brush it off as a coincidence. And she would be able to, if she hadn't realized that he looked the same naked as he did in her dream. But then again, she realized that he didn't have the scars, so it really couldn't have been true.

So she tries to cover up the whole thing. She tells Barney that this was a bad idea and that they should pretend it never happened. He told her so himself in the dream. Not that she doesn't agree. It was bad decision on so many levels. Except for the sex part, of course.

They go their separate ways and she waits for it to all blow over.

It doesn't. It turns into a nasty fight with Ted, on his birthday no less, and she couldn't feel more guilty. But, with all the conflict going on, she forgets about the dream.

For another three weeks, that is.

When she sees Barney lying in the hospital bed, she cringes. She knows it's her fault that he's like this. If she had some semblance of self-control, they never would have had sex, and Barney and Ted never would have fought, and Barney wouldn't have been late to the hospital. He wouldn't have been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

She is a bit grateful that at least his pain isn't for naught. Ted finally forgives Barney for their stupid mistake. But after the make-up, after Ted leaves to find Stella, Marshall and Lily leave to get dinner, and she has had some time to think without other thoughts getting in the way, an even scarier thought occurs to her.

She notices it first on Barney's arm, when a nurse is changing his bandage. The jagged cut that is stitched up, it matches. It matches the scars he had in the dream. The memory of when she confronted him about it flashes before her eyes. That exact scar had been there, healed, but present, turning her on. She tries her best to remember all of the scars from the dream.

She watches intently as the nurse moves from wound to wound, changing the bandages, and the more she watches, the greater the horror she feels. Every single scar matches. Her dream had predicted this. She knew that Barney was going to go through this. He remembered it in the dream. It's why he didn't want to tell her. He didn't want to hurt her. And if all of that was true, well, she doesn't even want to think about what that means. She doesn't want to think about the possibility of what that could have meant at all. It was a dream. That's all it was. All she does know is that she is going to be physically ill, and no one, absolutely no one, is going to find out.

She tries for the rest of the summer to put it out of her mind, and for the most part, she does successfully.

It's the beginning of fall that throws her another weird moment. She ends up at an oddly date-like dinner alone with Barney, and on top of it, at the restaurant he told her they had their first date at. The way he acts, scares her to say the least. She doesn't know this Barney, this Barney that cares about her and encourages her. It's the Barney she had seen in her dream. She knows there is no way 'figment of her imagination Barney' could match real life Barney, because it wasn't real. It was a dream. It's all just some weird coincidence.

The problem is, well, it all keeps happening. She catches him staring on numerous occasions. He's nice to her. He supports her. His encouragement of her for the new job is part of what makes her want to quit Metro News One so badly. If he believes in her, she tells herself she has to be worth it. Of course she doesn't want to go to Japan, but she feels like she doesn't have a choice.

But even worse than feeling like she has to go for career opportunity, she feels even more alone emotionally than she ever had been in the group. Marshall and Lily are moving, and Ted, the man she always thought about as her backup husband, is getting married to a woman he barely knows. Barney's still Barney, and all she knows is that someday, she will now admit, she does sort of want a relationship thing with him. The two days with Barney in her dream, she'd give anything for that to happen again. But she's realistic. Barney is never going to want that. Never. And her next best thing is gone. That just sends her into a tailspin.

She spends many of the nights before leaving for Japan so drunk that she doesn't remember most of packing, and before she knows it, she's gone. She is in Japan, alone, seeking any guy she can for companionship, because she misses her friends. And if she's being totally honest, which she isn't because she doesn't go there, she misses Barney the most. She wants him. Plus, the job sucks. It's worse than Metro News One. By a landslide.

So when she gets a phone call from him about coming to the wedding, she doesn't have to think twice about it. She'll quit her job if that's what it takes. If Barney wants her there, she'll be there. She wants to see him more than anything. And maybe, just maybe, she'll bring a bottle of scotch and hang out in his room, and let things lead where they will.

One intercontinental flight later, her ponderings are squelched. Seeing that girl tied to his hotel bed is the splash of cold water she needs to get herself out of this stupid fantasy based on a stupid dream. Barney Stinson is not settle down material. He's not boyfriend material. He's not even fling material.

So she does what she always does and runs, runs straight off the island. Then she sees Stella and Tony together and wishes she hadn't run. She wishes she could just be a good friend for once.

The following three months confuse her even more. Being unemployed gives her entirely too much time to think, which in turn causes her to overanalyze the dream. Could Barney really be in love with her right now? She finds it impossible to believe. But if she wants to believe the dream is real, he would have to be.

Then one night at the bar, he makes the announcement that one of the bimbos is pregnant. She's confused by his reaction. He was always quite clear that he didn't want children, and yet, he doesn't seem to be freaking out. Almost like, one day, he might want one after all. But then it's all back to fun and games and creating confusing holidays when he finds out it's a pregnancy scare.

She's relieved, because she's got this really weird idea in her head, one that scares her so much. If he's going to have a baby, she wants to be the one to carry it. She's never wanted children before in her life, but staring at that baby sock, and thinking about all that's happened in the past week, both with Lily and Marshall as well as Barney, she realizes that someday, if someday is anything like that dream, maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

That realization, though, doesn't make her life any easier in the present. She's still down, wanting what she can never have, and even though she at least has a place to live now, the depression is what propels her towards hanging out with the woooo girls, sleeping with the naked man, and drooling over Barney in the fight. It isn't until Marshall finds her the Hoser Hut that she starts to feel more comfortable in her own skin again.

Yet, just a month later, she back to the self-wallowing, because she's hooking up with Ted. She regrets it. The moment it happens the first time, she wishes it wouldn't have. There are so many things wrong with the entire situation. Yes, it's sex. But it's just sex, and only halfway decent sex at that. She doesn't want halfway decent sex. She wants Barney. If she's going to have a friends with benefits thing with one of them, it should be Barney. But it's not like she can tell Ted that. So she keeps it up, and just pretends. She pretends it's Barney. It makes the sex slightly better.

She's surprised when Ted ends it, especially when he says that one of them is going to get hurt. It doesn't make any sense to her. She even tells Barney so. And yet, in the whole explanation, he says I love you. The tone nags at her brain, like it was straight out of the dream, but she simply can't process it at the moment. She resorts to her defense mechanisms and ignores it, as usual, because it's a lot easier.

Not long after, she ends up receiving a letter from immigration. She mentally prepares herself to go home. She knows a miracle is not going to happen, because miracles don't exist. She even tries Barney's ridiculous video thing, because she'll do anything at this point, and it still doesn't help. But low and behold, Barney never gives up. Barney shows he cares enough to keep searching, to get her a job, so that she doesn't have to leave. It makes her wonder. Does he really care about her more than she originally thought?

Not too long after, she meets Loretta. Robin can tell she is the same woman. Not only had the dream managed to pick the right name, but she looks almost exactly the same, only younger. It creeps Robin out. It's why she spends most of the night with the young boy, and distances herself from the others. Every look just makes her feel a bit uneasy. Maybe she had seen a picture of Loretta before the dream, and that's why she recognizes her. Still, the thought doesn't make it any less scary.

The rest of the spring goes so well, she blocks the little things out again, forgetting the dream little by little. She is employed, and has less time to dwell on the dream as she had back in winter. Plus, her new sleeping schedule sure makes up for the time she spent doing nothing. She is exhausted most of the time.

But then, right before Ted's birthday, in what she wants to believe is a fit of exhaustion, she hears it. She hears Barney admit to wanting her, to liking her. She doesn't know what to think. She tries to remember what dream Barney told her. The problem is she can't quite remember. She knows that dream them dated, but really, is that what he wants? That can't be what he wants, and she second-guesses as always. Barney stinks at relationships, and so does she. He had been in one relationship in his entire life, and he swore he was never doing it again. At yet, it seemed like that's what he wants from her. But, is that what she wants? Can she trust him? Is a relationship with him for her?

She finally breaks down and asks Marshall and Lily, who are somewhat helpful, yet somehow, not really. They can't be when she hasn't shared the whole story. But she's never going to share the whole story. Why would she do that? Why would she open herself up to the ridicule? So she's left just as confused as before.

Once she and Barney are left alone in Ted's hospital room, she realizes that the spark that was once there, in the dream, is there, and it's on fire. Big time. There's no stopping whatever it is, but she doesn't want to anyway.

She remembers him talking about them being in a relationship for a few months, but for the first few weeks, it certainly doesn't feel like a relationship. It's all secret meetings and times off together when they know no one else is around. It's just about sex and nothing else. Like her dream, and the time before, the sex is amazing. She still can't help but wonder how he looks so much like he did in her dream. Now that the scars have healed, he looks just about the same as he did in the dream, except maybe a little younger. But she gets to a point where their secret meetings are so frequent, that she puts everything out of her mind and just enjoys him.

The longer things go on between them, the more serious things seem to get, even though they don't talk about it. She doesn't realize quite how serious things are, until she finally sleeps over and wakes up in his bed one morning. The experience is surreal.

She wakes up, sees Barney sleeping next to her, and in a trance, tip-toes out of bed. She's still quite tired from the night before, and figures since she is up, she should get the baby. She doesn't realize she's not in that reality until she opens the door to the would-be nursery and finds suits. It's quite a wake-up call for her, that she's letting this little fling get a little too serious. She's there, staring, until suddenly, he's behind her, whispering filthy things in her ear, and pushing her down on the suit room floor. It makes her forget about the dream, about every little worry she had before.

She gets used to waking up in his bed, being with him, and getting to know him. She enjoys finally knowing his bit of a sweet side, the real one this time. It's like the sweet side he had in the dream, but it's not nearly as refined, not nearly as focused on her. Regardless, it makes her feel things she forgot about. Feelings that she forgot she could have. She starts to fall in love with him all over again.

Still, she doesn't let herself get too attached, for many reasons. One, he still is Barney Stinson. No matter what might have happened over the past few months of them being together in secret, she does know him. He's not the settling down kind of person. And two, if she really wants to believe the dream was some sort of time travel reality, which she does and doesn't all at the same time, she would have to accept the fact that this current relationship isn't going to last. Dream Barney told her they were going to date for a while and break up. So either way, she has no reason to get her hopes up, to expect anything other than heartbreak.

So when the time does come, when they finally break up, she's not surprised. In fact, they had been hurting each other quite a bit. It is hard for her to believe they left it go as far as they did, but she knows it wasn't the ideal situation for either of them. They weren't the kind of couple that Lily and Marshall wanted them to be, and they never would be. The pressure was just too much.

And as much as she promised him they were going to stay friends, it is the most difficult thing for her to do. The presence of the playbook makes it even worse. It seems like he is going through women faster than he used to, and the thought of it makes her sick. But if anything, it shows her he didn't care about her like he said he did. It shows her that he doesn't have one ounce of remorse, and above all, it meant that the dream certainly wasn't real. That version of him cared so much. It hurts, but it makes her realize how much she needs to get over this dream.

The only reason that she lets Don happen is because she needs something. She needs something to forget how Barney is parading the multitudes of bimbos around her. She needs something to forget that she wants something with dream Barney.

If only dream Barney were real.

It isn't until she meets Anita the next week that things get even more confusing. Barney's been so annoying to her, so insensitive to her, that she wants to teach him a lesson. She wants him to learn what it's really like to be denied, to not get what he wants, to see what it's like to upset someone.

Sticking Anita on him works wonderfully, and she's pleased, at first. That is, until Barney decides this is a challenge he's just not giving up on. She loathes the way he parades Anita in front of her. It makes her feel sick, but she feels that it couldn't really get any worse.

Until it does.

When Ted tells her about the Superdate, something rubs her so wrong, she feels ill. She manages to hold it in until Ted leaves, but she's never felt so awful and emotional in her life. She can't even hide from the gang how upset she is, except she can never tell them why. She's the one that's supposed to go on a super date. That's for Barney to give HER. She's never felt less important to him than she does now. She just has to face the fact that maybe she never meant anything to him. Maybe she was never more to him than just sex, just a number on his list.

It hurts her so fucking much. All she wants to do is shoot, leave her aggressions out, leave it all go.

She feels like an idiot when Barney shows up, and yet she still lets him see what he's done to her. Even so, he seems remorseful, quiet, and not at all different from the Barney she saw in the dream. He's open and honest. He tells her she's not just another number to him, and the way he says it makes her believe him. He apologizes and tells her he's not going to do anything with Anita. She can't see him doing that, but then he gives her the Superdate. Even if she could have passed the name off as some sort of weird coincidence, the date itself, with everything so similar, she knows. She knows there is more to this dream than she'd like to acknowledge.

So she doesn't. She doesn't acknowledge that her feelings for him are still there, even though she's with Don. She doesn't acknowledge them when she meets Sam for the first time. She doesn't acknowledge them when he finds out about his dad. She doesn't acknowledge them when she gets the job at World Wide News. She doesn't acknowledge them when she finally meets Jerry, or when Lily and Marshall announce their pregnancy. And she certainly doesn't acknowledge them when Nora is back in the picture, and she's as jealous as hell.

All it takes for her to finally acknowledge it is one night. One night to send her crashing back into reality, into facing things head on. She slept with him. Again. Only this time, this time was even more of a mistake than before. This wasn't supposed to happen. None of it was. He never told her about them cheating together, so she panics. What if she screwed up the future? What if she can never be happy now, because they had sex again? She panics the whole day until she sees him again, and she can tell he's just as flustered as she is. But when he tells her he wants this to be the beginning of the rest of their lives, she knows she doesn't want it to be. Their beginning is supposed to start when he proposes to her. Yes, he may be "dating" her coworker, but she knows it's real. There was no pretending involved in that relationship. Besides, she doesn't see any sign of a proposal. He may seem honest, but it's not right, and she knows it.

And yet, going to the bar with Kevin later is one of the hardest things she's ever done. She doesn't want to crush him this way. She wants to be together, but with everything that's happened so far in her life that matches up to the prophecy she's somehow been given, she doesn't want to mess it up. She wants the dream to be reality. And for the dream to be reality, she has to stay on the same course, she can't let them be together until that proposal, no matter how much they both get hurt.

So she clings to Kevin, clings to Lily and Marshall, and keeps her distance.

Then it's three weeks later, and she's late. She's later than she's ever been. She's terrified. This is never what was supposed to happen. She does want a baby with him, but they are supposed it be married before she ever gets pregnant, not at all having a baby because they cheated on their respective significant others.

When she tells him, he's so excited. It's so much like dream Barney. He wants a baby with her. He's excited about being a dad, with her no less. Which means he's wanted this. He's wanted her. The. Whole. Time. There's no longer any confusion if he had really wanted her.

And it's confusing and amazing how he takes care of her. He's showing that side that she wants, the side that would make him a good husband and father, just like in her dream. But it doesn't change the fact that it's not supposed to happen like this. So she tells him she doesn't want it, and that it's not part of her plan.

When the doctor tells them later that week that it's a scare, it's cause for celebration. And celebrate she does. She mocks the teen pregnancy shows, smokes her cigars, drinks scotch, and thanks her lucky stars that someway, somehow, she didn't screw everything up.

She gets a call from the doctor to call back in. She expects the worst, that she is pregnant, and yet, it's even worse than that.

The diagnosis of her infertility sends her into tailspin. It's the first time she finds her life diverging so drastically from the prophecy of the dream, and she doesn't know how to deal with it. She pretends to be okay with it, with not having kids, because that's what she always said she wanted. But the more she thinks about it, the more she remembers holding that beautiful baby in her arms that was part her and part Barney. She can't help but feel depressed. She wants that. Wanted that, she reminds herself. It can never be now. She had given birth in the dream, so it couldn't have been real. So she imagines them. She imagines her and Barney's children; one of them Brianna and the other a boy that looks like Barney. It's the only thing that keeps her from going off the deep end, because life is nothing like she wants it to be. And worse, Barney doesn't seem to care about her anymore now that she's not carrying his child. She'll never have his baby, and on top of it, she's stuck as a researcher.

She breaks up with Kevin when he proposes, because it's not what she wants, and she knows it. Even though she convinces herself that the future she once saw with Barney can never happen, it doesn't change the fact that Kevin isn't the right guy. She turns down Ted because he's not it for her either. His guess of it being Barney does hit close to home, but she brushes it off. She never shares her feelings with Ted anyway.

But then Marshall tells her to move, and the downward spiral continues. She doesn't know what to make of her life. She certainly knows nothing of this part. All she knows from the dream is that she's was happy then. She was happy with things that now seem unattainable.

She meets Quinn just a few weeks later, and she's certain that it's over. Her life, the way she wanted to live it, is over. She's missed her chance. She should have chosen him that night over Kevin no matter what the dream said. In attempting not to screw it up, she made it even worse. It affects her so much. She's distracted everywhere. Her work suffers, and she figures she messed up the universe so much, that she's going to get fired on top of it. And if she gets fired, there is certainly no going back to World Wide News to be an anchor.

Her life has somehow gone miserably wrong.

And yet, just a few days later, the cloud seems to have a silver lining. She's suddenly offered the lead anchor position. The exact one she had in her dream, and for the first time in months, she has a bit of hope. Something is finally looking up. She even meets Nick, the crush guy she's been randomly meeting for years.

Then, Barney announces his engagement. If it weren't for Nick, she would lose it completely. Barney is off the table, and she knows it. She curses herself for ever believing in that dream. It was stupid from the beginning. It's not like Barney was ever going to settle down with her, or he was ever going to love her, or forgive her for what she did to him, or that she was going to be able to overcome her infertility to have his baby. It was all just a stupid dream.

A stupid, stupid dream.

She lets it go, finally, knowing she no longer has any hope for the future. She doesn't even care when he breaks up with Quinn. It's not like she has a chance anymore.

However, his words at Splitsville change her right back to her hopeful self. It's not what he says, it's how he says it. It bores a hole straight into her heart, right into her soul. She doesn't believe him when he first walks in the door, but the way his words are bittersweet, she realizes maybe she hasn't been giving him enough credit all along. It's an unguarded moment that makes her think of dream Barney. This is the Barney she's wanted for years, the Barney she can have a future with. The only problem is, as soon as she's admitted this to herself, he's denying it. He's telling her it was all a play, even though she knows different. It leads to them almost kissing, but she doesn't care.

Things between quickly go back to their normal awkwardness after the phone call from Patrice, mostly because of her impending doom.

She ends up blurting out about her infertility to Barney a week later. She expects his reaction to be completely different from what it is. Again, she sees that side of him that no one else sees, the side she saw in the dream. He looks almost as upset as she did, but he hugs her and comforts her first. It just leads to more confusion, and she wonders just when dream Barney and real life Barney happened to merge, because somehow they have. She's hopeful for the first time in a year. Maybe she didn't screw it up as much as she thought.

Just a week later, her hopes get dashed again when he tells her he's done trying to get her. She goes insane. Literally. It can't be the end of their story. She wants the happy ending. She needs the happy ending. She needs him. All she needs is one more time to show him what it's like between them, and he'll be right back to chasing her again.

She's so confident it's going to work when she shows up at his doorstep in her sluttiest lingerie, that she doesn't even consider someone else being there. The fact that it's Patrice makes it worse. She storms off in a panic of tears and misjudgments. She's home in record time, drinking herself into a stupor in embarrassment.

Yet, she wakes up the next morning with the world's greatest clarity. In the dream, he pretended to date a coworker of hers, so she would be jealous and finally admit her feelings for him. She reasons that the relationship has to be fake. The whole thing has to be fake. She even tells the gang as such, but all they do is call her crazy. So she takes matters into her own hands, steals the playbook, and ends up witnessing them together. If anything, it makes her more jealous, like he said it would. But her crazy insistence that this isn't real, just winds her up in an intervention with the group. She wonders if she should tell them why she knows, but she figures that would only wind her up in the psychiatric ward.

And yet, when Ted tells her Barney's going to propose to Patrice, she doesn't know how to feel. It's supposed to be her he's proposing to out of the blue. She's supposed to be the one he loves. She argues with Ted that she can't possibly go stop this, because she's at a turning point. She doesn't want to face that she could be wrong, that the dream isn't real. But Ted knows her better than she thought, and he forces her there anyway.

It's a long agonizing climb to the roof. She wonders just what the future is going to hold for her. She remembers her first climb up to this roof when she was in the dream with Barney. She remembers the flash of red rose petals and candles she had seen that night. She can't help but wonder if that was from this night.

She opens the door to see exactly what she had in that memory flash. The entirety of the roof is covered in rose petals, candles, and the twinkling lights that normally grace the balcony.

And she doesn't know whether to feel angry or confused or happy. The rooftop is special to her, and while it seems he may be fulfilling the prophecy, tricking her into coming up here is just too much for her to handle.

She lets him have it, and he's still smiling, and she's still cursing him when he tells her to turn the paper over. Still, she has this nagging feeling, like she knows exactly what is going to happen next. She's shocked and she's not when she finally sees him on one knee, in front of her. This is the moment she's been waiting more than four years for, the one she never thought would come, the one she thought she was crazy wanting.

She finds the yes spilling out of her mouth faster than she ever thought it could at a proposal, because she doesn't have to think about it. She knows him. She loves him. She knows this is what is supposed to happen. She's supposed to marry him.

It all goes by in a blur from there. She relishes the moment, the feeling of being back in his arms. She doesn't even realize until the next morning that the ring and the dress match the dream. Regardless, she's incredibly happy. She's so happy she doesn't care anymore. She doesn't care about the dream. She could live this life with Barney forever, baby or no baby. She's just happy to be with him.

Within days, she's in the rush of wedding planning. Almost every day, it reminds her of the dream. Each and every decision, each and every detail, finds its way to relate to the dream. The location, the flowers, the meal. Everything.

Of all the details of her wedding planning, dress shopping proves to be the most difficult. For someone who swore they would never get married, Robin is quite obsessed with finding the perfect dress. Lily thinks she is crazy. They had been to five different boutiques already, including the famous Kleinfeld's. But everything Robin tries on, she rejects, because she knows it's not the dress from the dream. She saw pictures. Every time she asks for sleeves, they tell her that they can add them, but she knows it's not the same. If she's going to marry Barney the way the dream said, she's going to marry him in that dress and only that dress.

It's at that the sixth store that she finally finds it. Lily is confused, because she finds it on a clearance rack. Lily knows that both Barney and Robin have enough money that neither of them needs to shop on the clearance rack. She knows their budget. But the tears Robin gets when she tries on the dress convince Lily. It's the dress, despite where she found it, and Robin doesn't dare tell her why she had to go all across the city to find it.

It's about a week before the wedding when Lily bugs her about getting her something old, and she remembers the locket. Not only did Barney tell her that she wore it, but she saw pictures of her wearing it at the wedding. So she goes to find it, but all she gets is empty holes, just like she had seen briefly in the dream. Then Ted shows up, it starts to rain, and she's left in the middle of an awkward moment. She knows she needs the locket more than anything. It feels like a bad sign to her, since it was there in her dream, and she's left with no hope of finding it.

When the time comes for the wedding itself, she feels like she knows what is going to happen. There were things she expected because of pictures alone, like her mom's presence, to have the locket, and not to have pictures at the lighthouse. So she is reasonably upset when her mom calls to tell her she won't be there, because she saw her in the pictures. She just has to be there. She might not care as much had it not been for the dream.

Then there were the things she never saw coming. Ted moving to Chicago, and his reason why, is a shock. No one had said anything about him moving in the dream. And then Marshall took a job that would clash with his and Lily's year in Rome? She knew they were going to spend a year there, so he couldn't possibly take that job, especially behind Lily's back. At least the rehearsal dinner was a good surprise she didn't see coming.

Of all of the things she didn't see coming that weekend, her freak out is the one that surprises her the most. She knows she wants to marry Barney, that she is supposed to marry Barney, and yet her legs are carrying her away. It's when she's running that she realizes just how much he hid from her then, or didn't want to talk about, to protect her, and because they were a bit painful. This is probably another one of those things he hid. She wants to stop running, because she does want this. She's wanted this since she could remember. But the thought of taking this leap, knowing it could lead her somewhere else, somewhere that isn't that dream, but to the other terrifying dream she had, it scares her too much.

But then she falls straight onto the floor on top of a woman. One that she doesn't recognize until they are standing. Ted's wife. There is not a doubt in her mind that this is Ted's wife. Here she is, face to face with a woman she had met before. A woman she met only briefly, but she knows. Ever since she realized that the dream really meant something, she had been on the lookout for this beautiful girl. She knew that she had to make her appearance soon at this point, but she didn't know how it would happen.

The problem is that she still doesn't know how to deal with it. What is she supposed to do? Is she supposed to introduce them, or let fate and destiny be the one to do it?

Tracy calms her down, just like she did in the dream, but she's a bit surprised by her approach. She doesn't say things about believing in love and destiny, which is surprising, knowing just how perfect she is for Ted. She convinces her to go back nonetheless, in her calm voice that helped her change a baby all those years ago.

And she's glad she did. It's one of the happiest moments of her life.

It's later, when they are on the dance floor, that Barney realizes who Tracy is. It's the same girl that convinced him to go after her. She can't help but wonder just how long Tracy has been flitting in and out of their lives. It's knowing who she is in the future that makes her oddly quiet at Barney's introduction. She doesn't know what to say to her, both in the form of a thank you from earlier, and in a she doesn't want to ruin fate kind of way. She doesn't argue when Barney wants to introduce Tracy and Ted, but she's silent the whole time. He never gets the chance, for which she's a bit disappointed, and she's left hoping that she didn't screw it up, that she wasn't supposed to introduce them.

On the return from their honeymoon, she's the least shocked of the gang, when they find out who Ted is dating. In fact, she's relieved. It seems as if everyone is on the right path, the path to the dream, the path to happiness, the path to the life she wants.

She wants that life now, more than she ever realized she had.

So when she gets the job offer for the overseas correspondent a few months into her marriage, she does exactly what she knows she has to do. She turns it down. Not because she doesn't want it. She does, even though it would be a step down from her anchor position. She would have loved it, and she's sure that she and Barney would have had epic travels around the world together. But it doesn't match. In some weird turn of events, she wants the baby more than she wants the career, as much as it surprises her. And if she takes the foreign correspondent position, she just might throw the universe out of whack, change the course of history, and end up without her baby, and god forbid alone, just like the scary dream she had about a month before their marriage. And she can't let that happen. She wants Barney; she wants a family with Barney. She doesn't want to be waiting on the sidelines alone, for Ted of all people. And even if she is infertile and the baby might never happen, she still wants it to happen.

Still, she tries not to get her hopes up. She expects it not to happen.

She doesn't want to believe Barney when he first points out the possibility that she's pregnant. One, because she doesn't want to get her hopes up, and two, because she thinks it's too late. She would already have to be pregnant to have her in February like she's supposed to.

But the doctor's visit proves otherwise. She is pregnant after all. And Ted and Tracy's announcement that same night doesn't surprise her in the least. The due date does, for sure, since she was told they were born the same day.

She knows, that first week in bed, that it's all meant to be. Everything makes sense. The dream is real. It doesn't make her bed rest all gum drops and roses, but it makes it easier to deal with.

As the pregnancy goes on, she spends a lot of time thinking. She thinks about the dream, and how far she's come, and how she really didn't see any of this future coming. But in 2008, the idea was foreign. Being married and having a baby with Barney was absolutely ludicrous at that time. She didn't think it was possible, it was that absurd. It seemed so real, though, and she now realizes that it's because it was, at least part of it. Everything that was told to her then, came true. Every single bit of it. It was only the parts he left out and didn't explain that threw her off. He avoided everything bad she did, everything that hurt her, everything that hurt him.

Still, no matter what she does, she can't explain the dream. She can't explain why it was all correct, how her brain could have imagined that, at least not with some divine intervention involved. And she wasn't sure she believed in those things. Not really. But all of it was inexplicable otherwise. The dream has to be the truth. But for now, she doesn't care. She's happy. She has everything she could have ever wanted, even if it means being a prisoner in her bed.

The name Brianna goes on her list because she remembers, and it's the only one on both their lists. She knows why, and yet she still doesn't share with Barney why she agreed so quickly.

Even when Brianna is born, she hopes that Ted and Tracy won't show up at the hospital, but she knows it's bound to happen. All she can hope is that Brianna is born first.

It's a whirlwind, but seeing Brianna again brings tears to her eyes. She's so much smaller than when she saw her last, but she's very much the same. She's incredibly perfect.

The longest period she doesn't think of the dream is between the time she gives birth and Tracy's invite for dinner. She knows the reason. She is living the dream. Literally. And living the dream means 2am feedings, dirty diapers, and loud cries. She can barely keep her head on straight, let alone think about the dream.

So when Bri is ten weeks old, and she actually does fall and hit her head at Tracy and Ted's house, she knows exactly what is going to happen to Barney for the next few days. On the way home, she tells Barney not to worry, that she will come back to him in a couple of days if he helps her. He tells her she's crazy, but she knows. She knows those few days with the real her gone will be ok, and she will be back with him soon.

She just doesn't know what it will be like for her. Maybe she would relive it again, maybe not. But it doesn't matter. She'll find out soon enough.


	15. Epilogue

"Wake up sleepyhead!" Robin shouts at Barney.

"Hey! I was sleeping!" He retorts groggily. He feels like he slept well for the first time in weeks.

"I know. I've been up, fed her, changed her, got her dressed and here you are still lying in bed. Geeze, Barney. It's a Saturday." All he can do is stare at her. Is she back? "Come on! Get up! We've got stuff to do!"

"Robin?" he questions slowly.

"It's not Saturday is it?" she asks, slowly coming to the realization of what happened.

He shakes his head in reply.

She did indeed miss the past two days. It just seemed like a peaceful night's sleep. No dreams, no visions, just sleep.

"What year is it?" he questions, testing her.

"2015."

"Ted's wife's name?"

"Tracy."

"Name of the song you walked down the aisle to?"

"Sandcastles in the Sand."

"The gift I gave you to tell you you were pregnant?"

"The maple leaf onesie."

His features soften, and admire her lovingly. He can tell that this is his Robin.

"You're back," he murmurs, overcome with emotion.

"Yes, I am," she says. "I told you not to worry."

"I'm always going to worry about you, Scherbatsky," he replies sweetly, before his tone turns a bit accusatory. "And yet, you knew things weren't going to be right. You knew what was going to happen."

"No, I didn't."

"Yes, you did. How?"

"I just knew ok?" she tries to defend.

"Sounds suspicious to me," he teases. Yet, he really does want to know what she meant by the warning. He kept telling her she was crazy at the time, but then it happened. Yet throughout the whole ordeal, he really didn't have time to think about it.

"Fine I will tell you," she concedes, "just promise me you won't laugh at me?"

"I promise I won't laugh," he agrees.

"I really don't remember what happened in the last few days, but I know. I remember it."

"What do you mean you remember it?" he asks, confused. She can only remember it or not. Not both.

"This is going to sound completely crazy, but I had a dream about 7 years ago," she begins to explain. "I thought at the time it was absolutely ridiculous. And at the time, it was absolutely ridiculous." He watches her intently as she starts to tell the story. "I was having trouble getting to sleep. I fell asleep for a few minutes, and then when I woke up, I was in here. It scared the crap out of me. And you were looking at me really weird, like I was crazy and you were worried about me. And there was a baby crying. You were in and out. I didn't realize it until later, but you were trying to keep the baby quiet, and you insisted I needed to go to the hospital. I think maybe you blackmailed me with a Sparkles video of some sort. And it was there that you told me everything. I tried to make sense of it all, but even when you told me everything and I finally held Bri, I still thought you were absolutely insane. Even seeing pictures, I still always thought it was this big practical joke, or this huge dream. Right before I woke up, I started to see flashes of all of these memories you told me about, like I was 2015 Robin getting my memory back. So I knew when we drove home from Ted and Tracy's that night exactly what was going to happen for the next few days. I wanted you to know that I was going to be ok and come back to you."

He couldn't do anything but stare at her, his mouth agape. Her story seems almost too incredible to be true, and yet, he knows that she would have no reason to make it up. "So you knew about all of this before we even slept together the first time?"

"Yes," she sighs, remembering it all again. "Although I thought it was just the world's craziest dream. The whole thing felt really real, but I never had a reason to question it, not at the time."

"When did you realize?" he asks, stunned.

"I don't really know. I think sometime around the time we got married, but I never really knew for sure," she explains. "You never told me the bad stuff that happened, so I kept getting thrown off. Every time something happened that was good, like Lily getting pregnant at the right time, I would be thrown off by something like finding out I couldn't have children." She pauses before continuing, just letting herself have the moment to appreciate what she really does have. "That's the one that confused me the most. It's why I was so upset about it. By that point, I had imagined my future with you, and it was just gone."

"So you're telling me that you knew everything?"

"Not everything. And I really didn't believe it for a long time, even though I wanted to."

"Why didn't you believe it?"

"Come on, Barney. It was 2008," she chortles. "Would you have believed it?"

"Not at all," he agrees quickly.

"I don't think I really, truly believed it until she was here."

"Wow," he mutters. He's still stunned by her revelation.

"And I probably left it affect me way more than I should have," she adds.

"What do you mean?"

"Do you remember the first time we dated, and I slept over for the first time?"

"I do. How could I forget that? It was the first time I ever left a woman in the suit room."

"Do you know why I was at the door to the suit room?"

"You were admiring the fine tailoring?"

"No, I was so out of it, I was going to check on Brianna. I woke up here, and I snapped into mom mode, long before I ever needed to have a mom mode, and I wanted to give you a chance to sleep in."

"Robin..." The thought of that kills him. She was looking for their daughter. Of course, she never found what she was looking for.

"No, it's okay." She sighs audibly, and he can see for the first time that she is on the verge of tears. He drapes his arm around her and pulls her close. "You have to hear these." She pauses before she lets the last admission pass her lips. "The reason that I brought Kevin to the bar that night, well, it was because I knew that moment wasn't supposed to be the start. I knew that we weren't going to date before we got engaged, so I didn't want to mess up the future."

"Robin, I'm so sorry," he mutters, and he can't help but let a tear fall with her.

"It's not your fault."

"But I told you all these things..."

"No, Barney, it's okay. I think you honesty saved us. Brianna is the reason I didn't take the foreign corresponded job."

He looks at her questioningly. "But you weren't..."

"I know, but I knew that if I took the job, I wouldn't be the lead anchor at WWN anymore, and it wouldn't match. And worse, it would have matched this other horrible dream I had."

"Geeze, Robin. How many prophetic dreams did you have?" he jokes. It makes her chuckle, and lightens the mood.

"Just the two. But the second one... I had taken the job... I don't... I don't know that I even want to say it out loud."

"Come on, you can tell me."

"I took the correspondent job, and we traveled all over the world, but we couldn't make it work. We ended up divorcing, you knocked up some bimbo who left you alone with a daughter, Tracy died of cancer when the kids were young, and Ted ended up going after me again." He can't help but stare. "Yeah. Exactly," she continues, reading his expression that he is just as weirded out as she was the first time. "It didn't matter how much I wanted that job. There was no way I was taking it. The two of you are much more important. But at the time, even just you were more important to me."

"I...I just don't even know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything."

They sit in silence for a moment, holding each other and admiring Brianna, before he continues.

"Actually, I have a question."

"Hmmm?"

"You were pretty quick to come on to me."

"And?"

"Why?" She turns her head in embarrassment. "You wanted me before the dream, didn't you?"

"I may have," she admits. "Okay, I may have had a lot of dreams about you back then."

"You are so..."

"Barney. Baby," she reminds him, nodding down at Brianna.

"She's just fine," he brushes off. "So tell me about these dreams."

"Well, they certainly didn't live up to reality, that's for sure."

"God, you're hot," he mumbles, planting a kiss on her lips.

"Maybe later, when she takes her nap, we can make some use of this new information."

"You've got yourself a deal," he agrees wholeheartedly. "Oh, and Scherbatsky?"

"Yeah?"

"Does this make me the time traveler's husband?"

"Shut up."

* * *

_2020_

_Sometimes I wonder what it would be like, what path my life would have taken if I had not had that dream all those years ago. As I watch Brianna skip ahead of me on the weathered wood boards of the dune crossing, I try not to dwell on it._

_The gang decided that we haven't seen each other in too long, all of us busy with our own lives, our own children. So Lily and Tracy picked out a large beach house on a fairly private stretch of beach in North Carolina. They thought it would be the kind of getaway we all needed. And it is. There is no arguing that. We are finally getting some time to catch up, and for the kids to get reacquainted. It's quiet, peaceful, in a way that the city, or even the suburbs that the rest of the gang lives in, is not._

_But right now, I'm missing girl time, missing admiring Barney in the ocean playing with Brianna, watching the way his muscles move as he helps her jump the waves. Instead, she has to go to the bathroom, leaving me to take her. I silently curse under my breath, that somehow, Lily must have passed along her constant need to pee somehow. Yet she's happy. She's the happiest little girl I have ever seen._

_For some reason, I can't stop thinking about how close I came to not having her beautiful smile in my life. I can't stop thinking about that other dream, and that we wouldn't be here. I'd be alone, traveling, and coming back for Ted and Tracy's wedding. It seems ridiculous to even think that Ted wouldn't be married by now. The joy I find every day in the laughter and tears, it wouldn't be there. As I yell ahead for her to wait, since she's always a bit impatient like her father, all I can do is thank my lucky stars that somehow, I got to see early how it would all turn out, that I could make my life have the things I never knew I needed. That I could have this moment, the wind in my hair, sun on my back, watching this mop of adorable curly brown hair jumping up and down, waiting for me like I make the whole world spin. So for the first time, I'll admit it. Universe, thank you. Thank you for giving me_ this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is it. I want to thank you all for sticking with me through my first finished story that was originally meant to be a one shot. I never expected when I started this, that I would take me a year to finish. But it wouldn't have been near what it was without your motivation and reviews. I still can't quite believe that this one is over, but I have plenty more stories that I am looking forward to posting, and I am looking forward to getting back to the canon story for this one, You Don't See It? So thank you all so much!


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